I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag

oh you’re a nihilist? name zero things that matter

If you were in a hypothetical situation, what would you do?

My dad was killed at a warewolf barmitsva you son of a bitch

Sending TikTok’s to the homie who uninstalled feels like slipping notes into the locker of your crush who transferred schools.

They won’t publish any of my letters to the editor

My uncle worked at 3M, and I still have never needed to buy post-it notes in 35 years

Is honey bee shit

I only ever see you in replies

Minnesota satanists put on a nice protest at the capital, but I was busy that day so I took a shit on the floor at Hobby Lobby instead.

Say more!

“Spitcoin” was RIGHT there

jack reacher is hollywood's effort to help young lib men connect with their old republican dads

pornstar name girth brooks