Jaye | The Key of Jaye 🗝️🎶💖

Still processing the guilt from all those hours I spent on NeoPets. 🥺

rock with lichen

listen, girls need pockets because we need a place to put cool rocks and shit

“Shhh I’m reading” neoclassical painting on top of Jaye’s bookshelf

Shhh, world… we’re reading! 🤫📚 #booksky

My 14 year old can explain the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath.

I think about that a lot when I’m trying to get to sleep at night.

I insult my enemies in condescending order.

Coffee grinder... oh, you mean bean tornado?

The GenX urge to
come see about me,
I’ll be alone, dancing,
you know it, baby

This day in history. 2017. Following a concert in Agoura Hills California at which he appeared to be falling down drunk TV and pop star David Cassidy announced that it wasn't drunkenness it was dementia and he was going into retirement and then he fell down you guessed it drunk.

back in my day, beans used to be a lot cooler

There can be no higher honor for an actor

does this flamethrower make me look like im ready to set the world on fire?

The Berenstain Bears

I just don’t like the vibe of these parents not gonna lie

In the time before smart phones we’d spend these hours placing needles on vinyl and chucking rocks at streetlights

Me: And this is the beer room.

Guest: I think most people just call it a kitchen.

a turtle looking out the window with the caption: watching the rest of the world's leaders face consequences

Watching the rest of the world's leaders face consequences

Last night, as my wife and I stood staring into the freezer, struggling to pick something for dinner, I proffered, “Chicken piccata?” She turned to me, and in very much her outside voice, sang, “IF YOU LIKE CHICKEN PICCATA…” and I was reminded for the thousandth time that I’d chosen the right woman.

I hope to become some type of strange and beautiful creature

How long does it take a Happy Meal to start working?

a person in a blue light holding a sign that says ' i love you ' on it ALT: a person in a blue light holding a sign that says ' i love you ' on it

#SleepToken

A colorful bowl of ramen noodles aka “noods”

Shows him my noods:

As I go through my Sailor Moon Rewatch, I'm struck by how a character's coolness is often tied to how good they are at video games. Simpler times.

There’s a “see what’s in my analog bag” trend popping up online and while I do appreciate the nostalgia, as a Gen-X woman, all I can think is, “I AM an ‘analog bag!’”

𝘒𝘯𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘖𝘶𝘵 is my favorite film about setting the dinner table.

There's lots of things I should do, but not now.

Never now.

Find you a man who loves you the way “Vessel” loves Sleep.

They will always be “Tweets” to me.

GM 🖤

Hope you slept well and maybe even experienced something magical ✨️

I'm not so much independently wealthy as I am independent from wealth

“Good to know.”

But it was not, in fact, good to know.