Storm

a man wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap is sitting at a table and talking to another man . ALT: a man wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap is sitting at a table and talking to another man .

*Julius Pepperwood voice*: He's Leo XIV he's from Chicago

I do my best thinking when I'm supposed to be focused on something else

Today I convinced my toddler to eat her breakfast in exchange for a piece of candy in the car on the way to daycare, and I think that qualifies me to be a hostage negotiator.

The person I went to diagnose me had this attitude 🙃

Let's pretend that Khalil had been a white green card holder and organizing protests outside of a Planned Parenthood. I guaran-fucking-tee MAGA would care then.

Currently nonverbal in a Texas Road House but the dinner rolls are almost worth it

#adhd #autism

Brennan must be so disappointed

Me when I use too much dry shampoo

Me laying on the couch for a week every month:

What is wrong with me? Everyone is being so loud and annoying and everything hurts and my brain feels like TV static

A week later when my period starts, suddenly feeling like a person again: oh yeah, that tracks

My favorite moon phase and my favorite planet

This exchange was so out of pocket that either Vance has no business being in global politics OR it was a planned excuse to stop supporting Ukraine and I think it's the latter

Zelensky: "what kind of diplomacy will keep Putin from ignoring a ceasefire like last time"
Used car salesman, JD Vance: first of all, how fucking dare you

The toddler is in bed and for the next two hours I can dissociate freely

That feeling when you joke about your shitty mental health in a room full of happy neurotypicals

It kind of looks like the rats have nibbled on him

Collapsible segue

Just remembered the time a kid in my class hocked a loogie in another kid's croc and the teacher threatened to make him lick it out 😱

Yes but I want it to be dinner rolls

Have to leave work early today. Have an appointment because my brain ain't right.

I don't even know what this means but it's exactly what I need

I'm foaming at the mouth for the music video tbh

The call is coming from inside the house

Why is making friends with other lesbians so intimidating???

First they came for our reproductive rights and now they're just straight up practicing eugenics

With Valentine's Day tomorrow, it's time for my annual rant:

Why is sharing dessert supposed to be romantic? I don't want to have to monitor how much you're eating or alter the pace I'm eating so I get my share.

Get your own goddamn dessert. This one is mine.

Was very disappointed not to be Jumanji'd into this Lego Tranquil Garden when I placed the last block

Not to be ageist but... How was there not a more qualified Press Secretary candidate than this 27 year old?

Or are qualifications not the point with MAGA.

Opal morning 🌞 Welcome Mother Moon 🌕

How can I a Wizard with adhd cast magic if I can't hocus focus.

Yesss my lil ADHD brain needs my hands to be doing something or else I'll be focusing on how much I need to move my hands instead of listening to what people are saying.

And I know fidget toys are a thing but I want to MAKE something