Heroine Addict

Have you ever read a Mafia romance and thought to yourself "It doesn't seem like these people actually like each other very much?"

Well I fixed that.
a.co/d/iIbsgpn

A photo of T. Kingfisher's book " the twisted ones" sitting on a kitchen counter. The book is warped and bent almost into thirds.

I moved recently. Ironically this is the only book that took real damage. @tkingfisher.com

Speaking of....

Funnily enough I DO pay for this and my service stopped working Sunday

🙋‍♀️ Hi, I work for the federal government and I love my job. I feel like I do real, measurable, and good impact in the world.

I would rather do that job without pay than see a bizarro world budget pass that is not beneficial to Americans.

Yeah, two was terrible but three picked back up pretty well

Photo of the stage at the Margaret Court Arena in Melbourne. There is a large orange and black sign that says "Brennan Lee Mulligan's 'Endless Dungeon'". On the stage is a table with five chairs.

Sometimes I go out and do things.

This looks like an Animaniacs short and I mean that in the best way possible.

In Australia it's this weekend.

Mamdani will win even harder if he promises that he will hire Adams on to just give daily press conferences where he can ramble about rat Jedis and how telekinesis is a problem in the dog community and such

A photograph of a bunch of red and orange flowers in a cup instead of a vase. There is a large toy brontosaurus behind the flowers and it has one in its mouth. Both flowers and dinosaurs are sitting on a dining table. The person who took the photo would like you to forgive her, she just moved and her vases are all still packed.

Me, at bakery: Out of curiosity how much was I just charged?

Cashier: $21

Me: Okay but I only ordered these two things?

Cashier: Yes, we have a holiday surcharge.

Me: I fully support that, but those two things came out to $11. I do not support a 100% surcharge.

Cashier: .... Wait....

They're like me and only play three franchises on a rotation.

The video paused on him looking at his dog and I thought they were just sharing a long, loving gaze.

As a note before you get your shot this year, there's some evidence that taking benadryl around two hours before the shot can largely lessen the worst of those types of symptoms.

And if that's just folk magic, not like it hurts.

For years I didn't eat pork because I couldn't come up with a line of "animal too sentient to eat" that would include gorillas, dolphins and grey parrots but not pigs.

*me while the photo loads* please be a cat 🤞 please be a cat 🤞

Between Charlie Kirk and the Mariners I'm ready to believe in witchcraft.

Bed for the evening

Fuck I forgot what a good movie that was.

Now it is time for Pacific Rim on IMAX.

Largest screen in southern hemisphere in fact.

A close up of a woman's chest. She is framing a red and orange stegosaurus pin on her black shirt with one hand.

Also they sprung "Choose from one of these four dinosaurs" immediately on arrival and I was not ready for that level of philosophical decision making.

$50 says I'm the only solo person at this sleepover.

Me, in pjs with a sleeping bag, to woman in ball gown in elevator: We're having very different evenings.

Her: Oh? Where are you going?

Me: The museum for an adult sleepover with the dinosaurs. There will be gin.

Her: Oh that sounds lovely. I'm going to a gala.

Me: Very different evenings.

That's what my undercut isn't all over two, with no fade.

He missed huge chunks up at my hairline.

Haircut today where the guy pressured me into letting him shave a design into one side. Then he proceeded to cut my hair in a perfectly straight line after it had been flat ironed to an inch of its life.

While I do have an undercut, I have never once worn my hair straight. A fact I told him.

"I was not this thing's intended audience. But I think its intended audience would like it."

Cool beans, mixtape, and n-word.

Bit if a mixed bag.

we have so much more in common than what divides us with our friends in asia

How I captain a starship