Aisha

"Facing our sh*t absolutely requires mad self-compassion & self-acceptance skills."

I think it is irresponsible to ask Clients to share their story which may bring up memories and thoughts that they have kept buried for good reason, without making sure they have the resources to take care of themselves when we are not there. Safety first.

Clients often ask me if they should tell me their trauma in their first session. And my answer is, "No. Not until I have taught you the skills to take care of yourself. Because I can give you all the compassion during the hour but then you will need support after the session."

I spent Sunday morning, rolling down a tiny hill with a highly active 5yr old and then sneaking up on their Mum (in public in the huge garden of a stately home).

If you hire me, I think it is important you know what kind of person I am.

An aspect of Self-compassion is recognising that you are not alone in your struggles and emotions.

This is the power of Superman, well, his dog Krypto - I am not the only one with an adorable PITA dog.

Kidding aside, owning a difficult dog can feel and be isolating.

Some people tie their identity to history and ancestry.

But what happens when that history turns out to be a lie or simply incorrect?

That new history becomes a threat to identity. Triggering a survival response.

Self-compassion helps to calm the nervous system, to respond with real curiosity.

commenters seem to not know that compassion can be fierce, it can be protective, it can be assertive.

The definition of compassion is to have empathy for self or others and be moved to alleviate or prevent suffering.

I sometimes think I’m wise, but then remember I don’t fully understand anyone or anything and the illusion fades.

Showing ourselves compassion doesn't invalidate our desire, commitment, or motivation to do better-- it enhances it.

Enormously.

We are more likely to take responsibility for errors or bad behaviour if we practice self-compassion for any shame we feel.

Shame is not necessary for responsibility taking.

In fact, shame gets in the way.

Pity - when you feel sorry for someone but don't think it could ever happen to you. Essentially looking down on them as less than and othering them

Opinion - when you say/judge why someone is in their situation.

There is a huge difference between Empathy, Pity and Opinion.

In political discussions some people are mixing them up together.

Cognitive empathy - the ability to fully understand why someone is behaving the way they do.

Emotional Empathy - when you feel the same emotions when you understand.

Has anyone ever made you feel like you are the bad guy?

Did you practice self-compassion?

Or did you beat yourself up, avoid the thought, get angry at the other person, or overapologise?

Do you know, if you practice self-compassion that you are more likely to take appropriate responsibility?

When you start recognising shame, you start seeing it in weird places.

Today, whilst chopping vegetables. Slowly and carefully. The shame voices about how slow I am, ever present like the wind, are quiet.

I notice the peacefulness and lack of name calling.

Who knew cooking can be pleasant?

Difference in energy I mean.

I didn't know that difference between cognitive empathy and emotional empathy. That's really interesting.

When coaching, I deliberately move between both.

If I am too emotionally involved, I can't say anything useful.

If I am too cognitive, I don't fully understand the person's experience.

Dr. Kristin Neff (and others I expect) said that technically it's empathy fatigue. And that being compassionate has been found to be energising. Which I think is interesting. I think it can also be exhausting if you don't think you are helping or don't know how to help.

We can take responsibility without having to blame or shame ourselves.

Notice how it feels different in the body.

I find taking responsibility has an energy about it and is solution focused.

Whilst Shame and Blame trigger tightness in the body and breath.

Then i identify the thought that made me feel ashamed and give myself self-compassion for the feeling of shame.

I am not sure what the long term impact will be as it is new for me. But it's interesting.

And maybe you have a mental tic/automatic thought when you feel shame?

I recently noticed I have a mental tic whenever I feel shame. I remember noticing the tic 25 years and thinking it was an odd thought to have in that moment and all subsequent moments.

Now that I know its purpose is to cover feelings of shame, I use it as a flag. I stop and retrace my thoughts.

Facts - Stand Against Violence Domestic Violence One in four women and one in six men will be affected by domestic abuse during their lives. Approximately 10% of children are exposed to domestic violence annually, and 25% of these ...

I don't think there is enough talk about the risk of violence to young men and the long-term impact of that.

Men have told me about being chased by gangs, young men have told me about only feeling safe in their area.

standagainstviolence.co.uk/advice/facts/

Meliorism : the belief that you can make the world a better place.

Compassion: the drive to make the world better.

Next book:
"In this book, intention is defined as : A deep, sincere desire underpinned by a belief that it is possible."

That belief seems key.

Err! I am not sure where to begin but yes politics influences everyone's life. Even if someone benefits from political decisions so much that they don't have to think about it. The influence of society and community on the individual was basic teaching for youth workers.

Acceptance, empathy, and support, unconditionally. ❤️‍🩹

#cptsd #recovery #traumahelaing #mentalhealth

Following the orders of psychopaths creates PTSD.

It's one of the most difficult types of PTSD to recover from.

Therapy should NOT cause you to lose your anger. It should help you get clear on your anger.

🌻
Greta Thunberg being released...

the internetWorld is gunna explode on this one

c'mon lets make this interview statement Famous!!

Discovering you have unintentionally hurt someone can be very painful.

Many people want shift the blame or minimise it.

This can cause even more hurt to the other person and distress in your self.

Self-compassion helps people to take responsibility for the harm they have caused and mend.

This is true. People with self-compassion, who experience a traumatic event, are less likely to develop PTSD than people experiencing the same event, who don't have self-compassion.