the bagel witch

"i asked chatgpt" yeah well i went to the doctor, i went to the mountains, i looked to the children, i drank from the fountains there's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line and the less I seek my source for some definitive closer I am to fine

How many bad things can you know about before you go insane

“chicago pope” is one of the shows jack donaghy greenlit when he was tanking nbc

I've assembled a team of the most horrible perverts and criminals you've ever seen and we're going to fix this country

Maybe I wasn’t clear about this. I wanted more egg and no plane crash, not many plane crash and no egg.

i think i manifested this

wow just logged off and there are problems there too

it's always sunny in philadelphia screenshot "You would have to be a real lowlife piece of shit to be proud to be an American."

When Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy and unfortunately Momma's got Seasonal Affective Disorder

Beyoncé extends her record as the most-awarded artist in #GRAMMYs  history with 35 wins.

THIS IS FOR SELF TITLED. THIS IS FOR LEMONADE. THIS IS FOR RENAISSANCE.

Sorry I'm just in a really bad place right now (United States)

i think my cat is gaslighting me

Drunk and high ! On Christmas Eve

Channeling her this Christmas.

predator handshake meme where one arm says "me not getting your joke" and the other says "you not getting my joke" and the handshake says "your fault"

the back of a black pickup truck with a box in it and the box has large black text that says, "COMPLETE TOILET". I inserted the text "he sounds like a" over the top so it reads "he sounds like a complete toilet" :)

I send this to my girlfriends whenever they talk about their new dudes

look, italians are complicated people

Love that Snoopy cooked a nice dinner for his good buddy Woodstock and made random bullshit for Charlie

Blithe smile // Blythe smile

Would you rather be a skeleton playing another skeletons ribs like a xylophone or a frog in a hat dancing vaudeville style. You can be honest with me

Trying to find a happy medium between not knowing anything that's happening in the world and being pissed off all the time

I try not to be “negative” and then more bad things happen and people continue to be clueless

[commercial for stones] are you tired of killing 2 birds with your bare fuckin hands

get that NASTY cruel intentions reboot show out of my FACE no one asked for this

Sometimes I (a moron) will post something and then you guys (my moron friends) will like it and I think to myself mmm perhaps I am not a moron after all but some kind of philosopher

put me in charge of public health and I promise to invent even more vaccines. weirder vaccines

everything should be different i think