Classic Krusty

Me, monitoring all the "Adult" and "Pornography" blocked DNS requests at my lab: I'll get you yet, Silent Stroker.
The Silent Stroker, from off in the distance: No, you won't!

When I was in college we'd drive to the 24/7 Walmart some nights without any money to just wander around. Is this somethin' similar or did you perhaps exchange legal tender for goods or a service?

There's no chance this is the case, but if he misquoted the senility test on purpose that's an easy 200mph fastball

The world's most beautiful French bulldog. He has white fur and joy in his eyes as he breathes in through his mouth. He's wearing a blue crown with a gold 6 and gold crown on it.

He's a birthday boy

Reading this piece was truly an out of body experience, thank you for the share

Nothin' says Office Diwali Party quite like a white boy chowing down on some Chicken Tikka Masala.

ME: have tariffs even ever worked?
REPLY GUY: (deeply committed to an incomprehensible gimmick where they roleplay as William Howard Taft’s left testicle) I don’t know much because I’m usually stuffed in daddy’s big pants. Try asking his head!
ME: haha. okay
REPLY GUY: aauugghh!! torsion!!

Damn. I always knew this site was an absolute rag even from keeping up with them whenever I'm bored at work, but this is actually egregious.

I've been monitoring the "Pornography" alerts on my company's DNS filtering tool and I work with a true ass dyed in the wool gooner

RIP your dogshit publication

Hello Ari Drennan, hope you're doing well as you name search. If you need to get out of your own head for a bit, I suggest the Simpsons episode Bart of Darkness.

Lil Jon is SO back

Thanks Fred you stay safe too man

Babe, I only play Paul in SFxT lmao

And then you can teach me to stop being unsafe 24/7 in fighties

Girl, I need to teach you how to read!

Vi, you just described Rhythm

Getting a foreskin restoration from a seedy vet who only accepts cash so I can stop playing Hades 2 so much

A Mischievous Evening with Steven Cleaving

Get his ass!!!

Tim Meadows is on Cameo

Me: *pays 140 dollars*

Tim Meadows: get away Dewey! don’t eat that Panda Express Orange Chicken! you don’t want any of that shit! It’s delicious!

Me: *delighted* *pays 140 dollars*

Meadows: Dewey get out of here! Don’t eat the rangoons! You don’t want any of that shit!

Me: *delighted* *pays 140

CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.

ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't

CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.

ISILDUR: true

Oh so you started the book on Public Relations from the middle too huh?

JAY GRUBER: Oh don't mind me, just sip-sip-sipping on my duck milkshake, got my stunner shades on, can't see the haters!
PAUL FRAZEE: frens i cry always... ;~; miss when my hellthread besties could just chill and live laugh love
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"What can I say about your stand up that you haven't already said about trans people?"

Every time Dave has a rich conservative unc moment you should imagine what the Player Haters would say to him

Shades of Iverson. You're way too good at making people mad and I doubt you've ever even set foot in the 76ers' facilities.

How'd this one go, guys?

Excuse me for talking too much like Eli Roth in Inglorious Basterds for this week. The Red Sox are playing the Yankees and it's a biological thing.