Andrew Trout

I really need to stop scheduling my annual exam for the day after the Bills have a frustrating loss.

My sleep score was a 96 last night and I would like to go back to bed.

Seeing the Bill Watterson originals full of pencil lines of stuff that didn’t work, scuffs the eraser didn’t pick up, white out galore and more was something I needed to see to remind myself that nothing is perfect the first go and tweaks need to be made and you’re allowed to try again.

Me: I am excited to sleep in this hotel room with no distractions, as my child is at their grandparents!

Hotel Room Alarm Clock: Imma fuck your shit up at 3:05 AM.

The only bills I get in the mail are from doctor visits that weren't fully covered by health insurance, so yes, please come talk about this at the kitchen table, Politician Person. [menacingly pulls chair back from table]

Before we de-activated my deceased Dad's Facebook account he received numerous birthday well-wishes for several years in a row. I was always curious if they were how his friends were dealing with the loss, or if they were just clueless.

Me: Why is USC playing such a shit-ass non-conference ga—oh, right!

Guess who has two thumbs and forgot to run the dishwasher last night? That's right—this guy!

And a 25% sell on fee!

Definitely some “end of the window” tax.

Just wear it under your fancy lawyer shirt like you’re Superman.

There have been too many close calls that I refuse to get my hopes up about it actually happening

(Rage Against the Machine at maximum volume while chugging a beer)

Did Pints with the Lads last night (cc: @peterberkes.bsky.social) and feel a million times better. We talked about a friend's new house and job, and how much it sucks getting kicked in the nuts by your kid.

Highly recommend (pints, not getting kicked in the nuts), doing it again next month.

I remember visiting a friend of my Dad's while I was in high school. He had multiple classic cars, and his wife had a huge collection of horse saddles. I noted he had a lot of stuff, and my Dad kinda...stared at me for a moment before saying "You can do a lot when you don't have kids."

Pittsford doesn't offer UPK, and was apparently the last district in the county to switch to full day kindergarten—something about 'money' I guess?

We're over 50k so far with just one 3.5 year old. To get to kindergarten the total bill will be close to $100k.

Happy to report that United has this feature, despite being a bag of ass as an airline.

@actioncookbook.com JetBlue flights offer a cockpit view for the ultimate in-fight entertainment experience.

Picking ice cubes out of my gin and tonic so it doesn’t get watered down before I finish it.

Cannot see his name without immediately hearing Chris Berman yelling "Natrone Means Business!"

It’s alcohol, it’s been sterilized, it’s fine.

I remember a piece on Bill Romankowski using a hyperbaric camber to help with recovery, as if that were the key to his career and not massive amounts of steroids and HGH.

Death, taxes, and my wife's aunt spelling the recipient's name wrong in a happy birthday e-mail.

Are they finally done arguing about how many days are in a week?

Spent three straight hours telling my toddler 'no.' I'm really looking forward to the phase where they're a sullen teenage who won't talk to me and just hides in their bedroom.

YouTube video by ESPN Y2K | This Is SportsCenter

More of a This is SportsCenter Y2K stan myself: www.youtube.com/watch?v=99z_...

I have three:
• Scott Norwood nails the field goal
• Refs rule that Frank Wycheck threw a forward pass
• Trump buys the Buffalo Bills

Staring at huge weed in the flower bed of my kid's daycare, fighting the urge to pull out.

Guess who has a new car battery courtesy of the two greatest words in automotive repair: Under. Warranty.