Alice Sheppard

Whew! (sends you British relief and many teabags and pretty mugs with space patterns)

Cos it's about time there was a better narrative - we didn't have any to go by when she was born and were surprised by her extra chromosome.

I took my toddler out today. After a good hour or so of her zooming around a big indoor playroom, I took her to the babylounge for some lunch. While I fed her sweet potato soup, another mum approached me and said her son had Down's syndrome too.
I beamed, "Oh, congratulations! I bet he's lovely!"

Thanks and love to you both, how are you two doing? I haven't been here for a while ... xx

Ugh, I can picture. "Is your situation x, y or z?" "Well none of them" ... crash ... "but hang on, I'm disabled so I need ..." ... crash.

One day you are going to meet little H, I hope. How are you? xxx

Thank you so much! I read half of The Moonlight Market while in the waiting room, and trying to work out whether Tom was the butterfly/moth prince or not helped remove my mind from what was happening.

P.S. Thank you to the nice people sending condolences. I'm now 43 and with even less hope. But I do have the world's most awesome toddler, so I can't complain too much. My heart goes out to everyone who's been here too.

But thoughtless replacement of humans with technology makes things less good both in kindness and in efficiency.

And because we're messy, sad humans, the consequences of this can be really upsetting.

Technology and systems *can* do things very well. This could all have been thought through, e.g. a message to say "hey, because you're no longer pregnant, we're going to close your account - you have X time to still ask us questions here, and call us on this number if you need anything".

I'm sure the people who work at their office are exactly as kind and caring as they were a year ago the first time.

But the technology wasn't. And the systems weren't. Nor were they efficient. They didn't communicate to me what I needed. I had to go to extra effort, as did the receptionist.

They were able to confirm that my upcoming appointments had indeed been cancelled. And they said yes, as I was not pregnant I did not have access to the app.

But fancy finding this out by sending in a question, trying to access it, and finding your login no longer works. Where's the humanity gone?

But of course I couldn't access the bloody app any more! They'd kicked me off without a word of warning or explanation! So I had to phone their office. Type in my personal number, that kind of thing, and wait for a call back. (In which they asked for the stuff I'd typed in. Technology is so great.)

In Sweden if you fail to cancel an appointment over 24 hours before it happens you get charged 400 kronor, about £35. I don't know if I've been charged or not, but the woman who called was incredibly kind and understanding, so I hope not.

I realised I'd better sort out any other appointments.

I hadn't time to address it then as my husband was working and I had (thank goodness!) a toddler to look after. I took her out to a big playroom she likes.

I got a phone call on the train. It was from a genetic counselling service about my pregnancy. I had to apologise and explain on a full train.

Next day it occurred to me that I should ensure the appointments were all cancelled. (It hadn't occurred to me sooner. I was a mess, physically and emotionally.)

So I opened the chat again, but it seemed to have crashed. Some hours later the app said I couldn't access it. I had been kicked off it.

I should have waited as they couldn't confirm it. The embryo was still there. But yes, it was another miscarriage.

I opened the chat on the midwife office's app to tell them what had happened. They said they were so sorry to hear it, and answered my question about what to expect in the coming days

Fast forward a year almost to the week (54 weeks). Hope again! And now the midwife's office has a shiny new app. I don't need an appointment if I've got questions, I can just send them a question on the chat. Awesome!

Sadly, another miscarriage. I didn't wait this time, I went straight to hospital.

That was exactly what I needed. Compassionate humanity. Things taken care of. No hassle. Everyone in the hospital had been super kind, too.

It was still terrible. I had been 10 weeks along. Age 42. Not much hope. But the kindness meant so, so much.

The midwife was super kind. She had told me she would check my notes (you can do that in Sweden) and follow up with me in a few days.
I got a call from her a few days later to say she was so sorry to hear what had happened, and she had cancelled all my upcoming appointments, eg ultrasounds.

They were very kind, but couldn't tell me one way or another. They told me what hospital department to visit. I waited there all day. The worst news was confirmed. I was sent home. To cut a long, gory story short, I arrived back in an ambulance some hours later, and needed blood transfusions.

My first miscarriage was a year ago. Nobody tells you how slowly miscarriages happen, or how long and difficult it can be to even establish that that is what is happening rather than just a bleed. So I waited over the weekend until my regular midwife appointment.

A story of apps vs humanity, or: a cautionary tale for those who think machines can replace people.
Content warning: miscarriage.

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In theory it was a good decision and I'd still recommend it (though I'd also recommend not going 300 miles to the total unknown at 18 as I did). It is good to take some time between episodes of learning and find out more about yourself. Sorry to hear your time at university was so miserable!

I really wanted a break from academic stuff at 18, so I deliberately took a gap year. I had it all planned: work in a business then study environmental science, so I would be able to address both. It was actually a disastrous year, but that was due to bad luck (working with terrible people).

And it should be found out what data they have collected on US organisations and residents and what they were planning to do with it

And I'm sure lots of the station is Walter's loo.

He's cool.

Ooooh, that looks interesting!

Husband: “My love, what is a mischievous kid’s favourite sausage?”
Me: “Bratwurst?”
Him: “Well done.”