Jo The Bewildered 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🎓

At a basic minimum level - the main thing *I* want carers to do is to check the person is OK.

Also. In case you’re wondering about rising autism/adhd diagnosis. It’s becoming very clear to me that undiagnosed neurodivergence shows up clearly in old age as people lose the cognitive ability to mask.

I don’t really want to leave them to it because I’m not particularly convinced it’s safe to do so. But if they refuse to compromise - I’m not sure what other choice I have.

My job has been reorganised out of existence and I need to find a new one.

I should probably call Age UK.

A parent who doesn’t want to bother the people who are *paid* to be bothered - but is absolutely fine with me completely upending my life on a semi regular basis. And also fretting over my life decisions (I’m 49).

They’re capable of making their own decisions. But they’re quite often bad ones.

How do I get an elderly parent to accept outside care that my brother and I cannot realistically provide? Someone who just grumbles and disengages with the situation whenever it’s raised. Someone who assesses their own needs against their best day rather than their worst days.

There’s two episodes.

Journey Through Time is one of my favourite podcasts. Also recommend the episodes on Abel Archer (you nearly died in 1983 but didn’t know it) and Tokyo Rose are particularly good.

YouTube video by Journey Through Time The Pirate Lovers Who Preyed On Men

This makes me think of this podcast. Also available wherever you usually get your podcasts from.

youtu.be/Ufv2DAilgRE?...

Given the sector, the purpose of both CV and statement is to get someone to put a tick in a box against essential and desirable criteria.

These days the cool kids use AI to do it. But essentially it’s an exercise in describing oneself in the language of the job description.

Yes. And write a statement that addresses person specifications.

I won a round of Where is the Lid! This evening. Found the two correct lids to Tupperware’s on just the second attempt!

I *think* they’ve agreed an extension to Sunday - which I can do. It’ll be good practice. It’s over 10 years since I applied for a job.

I asked if it went external when the closing date would be and I think I have been offered an extension until Sunday. Which I will take with much and effusive gratitude.

As in Robert Redford?

Man alive someone with his brains, empathy and (I have to say it) looks would be great.

Argh! Redeployment opportunity that I actually want to go for but the closing date for redeployees is tomorrow.

Yes. But (and I haaaaaaaate to have to say this) that’s the demographic that’s needed.

A friend of mine (who is Black) said to me the Democrats need a late 40s early 50/ white man who the white men want to be and white women want to fuck.

Depressingly, I think she’s right.

Agreed.

I made the decisions I did with the information and desires I had at the time. I have had some great times in London. It certainly facilitated me learning the music skills I always wanted. But it is a relentlessly big, busy and expensive city.

I also kind of wish I’d moved to Bristol or Edinburgh instead of London after university.

It’s an impossible scenario because I couldn’t have learned what I know now about myself as a musician at the time. But looking back with 50/50 hindsight - I wish I’d taken a couple of years out to work on my music, got therapy for the stage fright and then gone to university to study music.

But I’m also more than a week into having had my life turned upside down by a crisis that it at least in part a result of someone not wanting to be a bother to professionals who are trained and paid to be bothered about those things.

In the work context my (natural) response is “I’m being *paid* for you to bother me.” And if you didn’t want to bother me - then why did you not look at the information I’ve provided for you online.

Yes. It’s very much social babble in some contexts.

Unless of course I’m getting this all wrong and “I’m sorry to bother you” is some kind of neurotypical code for thank you.

I would however, massively appreciate being able to do those things without the additional emotional labour of assuaging your feelings about it.

Honestly. Please and thank you are enough.

“I’m sorry to bother you” also adds very little in my opinion.

Whether or not I’m bothered is my issue.

And I’m not bothered about being kind to someone in distress. I’m not bothered about providing information it’s my job to provide.

I’m beginning to think that we should all chill out about being a bother

If you’re thinking “But I don’t want to be a bother.” I can almost guarantee you that you’ll end up being *more* of a bother (to yourself or someone else) in the end.

Men’s fashion was much more exuberant before the Regency period.

It’s a vicious spiral.

Tomorrow I think I’m actually going to go for a walk.

Dun a fast road drive all the way over the Orwell Bridge innit!

Oh if I were *world* dictator the very first thing I’d do would be to institute a 99.99% global tax on wealth above £1bn. Second I would ban and reverse privatised utilities.