I actually like Vaporeon as a design and an Eeveelution but because of a certain copypasta I can't really say that anymore.

Whoa, it's too early to say "Donald J. Trump Dead at 79 Multiple Sources Report" just yet because if you keep saying "Donald J. Trump Dead at 79 Multiple Sources Report" then the bots scraping social media may start to parrot "Donald J. Trump Dead at 79 Multiple Sources Report" to the whole internet

i really dont have a brain, just a bunch of pop culture references in a trenchcoat

Dan Schneider?

because of this, TF2 players are exceptionally good at making the split second differentiation between "This man is a threat who I must murderkill" and "This is a sopping wet kitten in a cardboard box who I must teach how to perform the Conga!! Conga!! Conga!!!"

"Oh, Microsoft Sam must have transitioned." - guy who is about to learn about Hatsune Miku

homer sipmsons

The burgers surrounding the towers are a nice touch, but where's the khlav kalash stand?

I've been playing a lot of Hades lately and, minor spoilers and so on, but I just got to the 'second' part of the game where I said out loud, "Who gave this child a gun?"

do NOT write about him chasing a woman only for her to stop right at the edge of a cliff and then giuliani keeps running for a few seconds before stopping in place all confused, looking down, and then holding up a tiny sign saying "Them's the breaks, kid" before falling to his death with a soft thud

actually i can comprehend these man-made horrors just fine
they wouldn't be very horrifying otherwise

had a nightmare where a bunch of techbros made a new type of grocery store that worked like a cafeteria and you had to wait in a super long line that went through every aisle and if one person was comparing prices everybody just had to stand there

i skipped an aisle and they called the cops on me

this is like bimbofication but for software

Thank goodness somebody came! There's this Quest Indicator over my head that I can't get rid of, could you help me out?

QUEST ACCEPTED: Objective - Turn in this Quest.

cant wait for hollywood to start rebooting more disaster movies except this time the hurricane has a tragic backstory to make it more sympathetic

my theory is that there's a connection between the American accent being incapable of pronouncing 'T' sounds in the middle of words and the fact that we've never fully adopted the metric system

because what the heck is a 'meder' or 'lider'

You're walking in the woods.
There's no one around and your phone is dead.
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him

(Stephen Colbert)

The best part about winning family board game night isn't just watching the losers clean up the game pieces but the part where they're almost done cleaning and you go 'Whoops you guys missed a few pieces' and then dumping a bunch of tokens and fake money out of your sleeve onto the box.

I hate the phrase "usamerican" because I always read it as though it were being said by Jar Jar Binks.

and I've been throwing my used car batteries into the ocean like a damned fool.

To shreds, you say?

Me (after reading the word 'benefits' shortened to 'benis' for the first time): YOU JOINED THE MILITARY FOR WHAT?

whoever said 'Pain is Temporary' has clearly never had a minor injury in their 30s

That's not a field of knives. THIS is a field of knives.

Assigned Cop at Birth 😔

tragic

You'd think jewelry companies would have gotten aboard the polyamory train a while ago.
It's just business sense; You would rather sell rings by the dozen instead of pairs.

Here lies <ENTER NAME>

Born 2025, Died -65535

I prefer the polar opposite: "Thing that shouldn't erupt into a fireball nevertheless erupts into a fireball on a hard impact."

He should have died every episode and then been back inexplicably in the next one like Kenny McCormick.