Harri Soinila Comedian

#bubba

Mel Gibson sure makes a lot of movies about a Jew considering he's Mel Gibson.

My 2yo has been inventing pre-existing food combos, like pancakes w/ syrup and meat between buns of bread. Basically independently reinventing American cuisine, which makes sense because American food is like tailor made for babies: hyper-palatable, high-caloric, ideal for doubling your bodyweight.

When you think you're having a heart attack but it's just a fart it's called gas-induced chest pain and NOT a fart attack. This proves we're living in the dark timeline.

Hello, employer. Charlie Kirk was great. I love him very... Wait, I'm self-employed! Fuck that guy.

Life is like a box of chocolates. Getting more expensive at an alarming rate and we're not sure there will be any left on earth in 20 years.

I'm sick and my wife asked me if I've been drinking enough liquids.

That's like all I drink.

Life Hack: Paint a giant swastika on the hood of your car and people won't even notice it's a Tesla.

My theory is that #Dutch people are so tall because it's unnatural to live below sea level and it's just nature trying to make sure they can breathe.

I want to see an action movie that starts with a car chase that destroys a fruit stand, like car chases do… and then follows the fruit vendor on a revenge rampage against every action hero.

People say a lot of shit about Putin but he's pulled off something I didn't realize was possible. He's got Finnish people rooting for a country with a blue and yellow flag.

"Those boomers wouldn't have so much financial trouble if they just stopped eating all those damn egg sandwiches!" - Millennials, 2025, probably

Today I reached peak "Middle Aged Man" by having to get up to pee in the middle of a nap.

Every time a Gen X says all the new music sounds the same a Gen Z gets its wings.

Noticed something amusing.

Z is the last letter of the alphabet and the last birth year of Gen Z is 2012.

So whoever it is naming the generations, they made the same mistake as the ancient Mayans.

Mama Bear: Ok but last time

Papa Bear: Thanks, babe

[she puts on a Goldilocks wig]

Mama Bear:I can't sleep here. It's toooo hard

YouTube video by RED MIC Taste Changes • Harri Soinila • Full set on our Channel

youtube.com/shorts/3_9ge...

I found 50€ yesterday and my inner child said I should buy candy and pizza, but my inner adult intervened and said we should buy candy and pizza and beer.

this is honestly so embarrassing

Let's see how this expensive wine pairs with the smell of my 2yo's poop.

Why did Captain America shoot Peter Parker?

- He misheard his code name as Spy, German.

Me: Now we're going home on an airplane!
2yo: The potty is there!

This kid gets it.

It's nice to travel and experience new things and foods, but it's also nice to get back home and poop in your own potty.

Just sacrifice a goat or maybe a small CEO.

The 14yo girl I saw wearing a "Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back" hoodie certainly hasn't seen any pictures of me when I was 14.

Vin Diesel is Groot,

Just now at the airport:

2yo *sees a man sort of resembling me in an ad* : "Daddy!"
Wife: "Is it daddy?"
Me: "Yeah, it's me with my Asian family."
W: "Are you doing ads without telling me?"
M: "THAT'S your main concern?"
W: "Yeah, where's the money?"
M: "It's going to the other family!"

A fascist’s a fascist, no matter how small

Phil Collins isn’t his real name. It’s a sussudionym.

Hey, haha, what if we tried giving everyone human rights as a joke? Haha, just kidding! ...Unless you... want to..?

If you can dream it you can fail at it.