starling

pretty sure the implication is that whatever the kid was hearing at home wasn't snoring (screams or whatever but was told they were snores), and that the actual snoring from the other patient is what finally tipped them off

new gender surgery just dropped (getting punched really hard)

im really thirsty but i don't wanna get up so whoever reads this can you please drink some water while thinking about me really hard and maybe that'll help me.

overhead, the trees clapped politely for the wind; their applause accompanied only by the staccato of a dragonfly and the long oboe groan of a branch bowing, bowing

my divorce finalizes tomorrow so i got myself an ice cream cake and the guy who wrote the icing on top came out from the back laughing because i had him write LOVE LOSES!!

i have to say that going outside and seeing lightning bugs for the first time in the season was especially trippy and enchanting last night when i was rolling. like yes hello i see you're having visual distortion and effects. how about some flashing flying guys huh?

went to a basement metal concert last night and as i left the baby with my partner i kissed them goodbye like see you sweeties!! mommy's gotta go moshing now

psych eval for top surgery later today!!! the eval, not the surgery. i wish i was getting top surgery today but alas and alack

i don't know anything about sabrina carpet and at this point im afraid to ask

for some reason boss didn't like when i tested the mic for today's funeral by going "1... nothing wrong with me....2....nothing wrong with me...."

at a youth crisis center for kids who have been sexually assaulted and it's a beautifully heartbreaking place. every stuffie and toy a reminder of the clientele they serve...

adopted a kid because her mom was so shitty but now im in my 20s with a 17 year old daughter like i was a child bride

*a musical number

new who is insane actually. wym the first episode has them crawling through ventilation shafts in a goblin ship. yeah there's a mystical number about eating babies. what about it

#CopsDrivingIntoTornadoes2025

embarrassing problem; i can't cum unless I am either jacking off or having intercourse,

outside my window just now

two or three teenage girls, loudly and mostly in tune: CALIFORNIA GIRLS WE'RE UNFORGETTABLE DAISY DUKES BIKINIS ON TOP
one teenage girl, quieter and concerned: guys, it's almost 10 o'clock at night

Wordle 1,436 3/6

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was feeling kinda blah but then i made myself a nice cold biggie drink and actually life is beautiful never kill yourself

you must be smoking deep fried dick if you think i give a chicken fried fuck

i like my men how i like my coffee ;) ;) a few times a year and always more disappointing than i hope it'll be

the thing is,.no i wouldn't though because actually what im really good at is perfectly NOT cutting into the artery. just immediately next to. BUT if i can perfectly not cut something every time, i can perfectly cut something. you understand.

was telling my gf that i got the radial artery so easy peasy during my last embalming and that if i was to try and slit my wrists i would be able to do it first try no problem. expert wrist slitter over here

oooohhhhhh okay im okay now actually im cured

creative fork seeking creative outlet

nothing like busting out a wholeass blowtorch to do your drugs that makes you feel like a proper addict. this shatter got me off the shits i tell you what

at the end of the day, im just another regular, ordinary guy. who just happens to have something deeply wrong with it

anyway i did some drugs and got fucked within an inch of my life yesterday!! happy milf day

oh also i finally got the ick a few days ago for that man i was talking to. im freeeee!!

you cant read auras stupid ass . you can barely read English