LarryEDVickers

On Halloween Vegan restaurants should be allowed to kill one and cook them and serve them to the others......

*Pulls out a nice garlic sausage and starts slicing it.

"A wise and experienced person will first shove a mental dipstick into their bladder before walking out the door."
-Confucius maybe... who knows?

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All sports are better if you just double them. 2 pitchers, 2 batters, 6 bases, all the same time.

Peireogoeries?

It is legal, you just need to tell the cops 'Mark and Oats' - precident

Ryan Ghostling?

I was married to a psychiatric nurse, I get this (joke?)

Yikes

XD

kim kardashian has an opinion about the 1969 moon landing !

𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ’𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼

I dunno, that guy is a complete tool......

HA that is quite the costume for you!
Good luck!

people who use the wrong gear when riding bikes annoy me

My Friend: "I'll give you $50.00 if you do a Meatloaf Impression right now."
Me: "No, I won't do that."

Tell them the safeword is meatloaf

If you start fucking around in your 80s, you're far less likely to find out

You can freely exchange "cat" with "partner" and it still makes sense.

Miley was right, it’s a party in the USA because I’m uncomfortable and I just want to go home and hug my dog for a while

Canada's elected ruling party, after more than a week's of deliboration had voted with a 80% majority that the preferred member of the X-men to have at a BBQ is Wolverine. Nightcrawler was in contention if a beer run was needed.

I wish I could be paid in X's..... shheeeeiiiittttttt.

I am rather apathetic about big butts and I lie on occasion.

People go on about human rights this and human rights that, but what about the non-human rights of eagles and jaguars to eat sloths when they climb down to poop?

YOU GOT LEMONS!?!?!?! Fuck this is so unfair.......

It's Ambiamorous (I'm ambiamorous)

Quoth the raven: "CAW!"

Radical.

Quoth the Raven, "Cowabunga"