Bluesky T. Vibes

So high I turned up the brightness on the TV to taste the subtitles.

I have the musical taste of a hacker from the 90s

Your battery phone percentages make me a little sweaty

I’m starting to suspect the government doesn’t want what’s best for me

At this point all I want to know is if Cotton Eye Joe is still alive

I don’t know much about cars but pop the hood on a pizza sub and I can tell you what’s going on in there.

[puts the tv volume to 7] still punk

Local cats in your area want to get under your feet while you walk

I wish an uber driver could launch me at my door like a kid delivering a newspaper.

Calling in old radio song requests

Be the reason why a hands-free toilet flushes as you walk by

Ravioli are just savory Gushers

*Bob Dylan voice* Breakfast isn't important, it's history.

I'm opening a high-end cake shop with my uncle's son. Calling it a Baker's Cousin.

stealing from the undead is called a rob zombie.

A promo still of Lilith from Cheers/Fraiser

Still from the television show Fraiser showing Roz at the KACL control board

A still from the television show Fraiser showing a smiling Daphne in a kitchen

Choose your fighter

still haven’t developed superpowers from all the microplastics in my blood this is bullshit

A milk man but he drops off bags of doritos

imagine how awesome the air would smell if we grew potatoes on the sun

some of my google searches are so impossibly stupid i do them in incognito mode

I’ll be dressed in my prettiest flour sack this Friday evening, darlin. Look for me by the mill pond.

Easily distracted by potato salad

choose violins

We have caller ID on the phone at work so I know who’s calling when I answer the general line. I still pretend like I don’t and say the whole,Thank you for calling… because it feels like it would be weird to answer and just say Mike?

one time at a baseball game i got hit in the head by a foul ball & got knocked out & when i woke up i could recite almost every number from 1 to 10.

Sorry I scalped our two tickets to paradise

TSA guy said I don't look my age and I thanked him for reminding me of my age

breakfast: it's what's for dinner

I know you stole my bike, Francis