Dan Hopper

Whenever characters are like “We’ve been waiting an hour and a half for this guy! Oh great, FINALLY here he comes” I’m like, whew, lucky they started the scene here

Well as a US Senator, my job is twofold. Of course you have to do a lot of fundraising, campaigns are expensive. So there's a lot of that. And also sometimes I go on Benny Johnson's podcast and tell him that I'm too scared to drive into the city for a Cincinnati Reds game these days.

My mom ordered a Cookie Monster doll for my daughter as a surprise and I opened my door today to see this. Muppet mob sending a message

Here’s @downgoesbrown.bsky.social on whether or not he’ll get to see the Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup before he dies:

I texted Zohran multiple food options near me, heard nothing, then a full day later he replies at 7:30 pm that he's just leaving work now and kinda beat so he's gonna head home (even though I saw him tweet a jeopardy screenshot later.) And THIS guy wants to lead the city??

When is the government gonna do something about the Coke that makes M.C. Hammer lame??

I’ve had very good friends come to New York for two days and been unable to find a time to meet up, and I’m just some guy

The online Right did this with Top Gun: Maverick too, it was the only movie they’ve been allowed to enjoy in 10 years so they proudly claimed it as “anti woke” even though they added a female pilot & diversified the cast in the exact way that supposedly makes movies instantly unprofitable

Right wingers have lost the ability to feel regular joy outside ‘triggering’ people and as such can only interpret their feelings of being made horny by looking at Sydney Sweeney as somehow being anti woke

First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the comedy stylings of Richard Belzer

I did not anticipate how many episodes of this sports podcast would turn into mindful reflections on our own mortality but here we are!

We're 8 episodes into the podcast about sports misery and @johncullen.bsky.social told what is so far THE most depressing story we've heard yet:

One of those $28 novelty movie popcorns with not even that much popcorn in the hood of a plastic hoodie

he looks like if the Robbie Williams ape movie was about Jerry Seinfeld

Magnetic Fields followup album

We haven’t had a discourse in a while where everyone piles on some mild but insane hygiene opinion. Some guy octupling down on “Y’all know you don’t need to floss your middle teeth”

Toronto Maple Leafs (with John Cullen and Sean McIndoe) Podcast Episode · Thrill Of Defeat · 07/29/2025 · 1h 11m

Talked to the great @downgoesbrown.bsky.social and @johncullen.bsky.social about the unique, specific suckiness of the Toronto Maple Leafs, the team everyone in Canada hates (especially their own fans). A fun, miserable time!! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...

A little off-theme but has someone suggested Lethal Weapon 2?

"The smug look on Jim Rome's face" referenced by @ugarles.bsky.social in the above clip, seconds before getting attacked by his guest

“Uhh maybe you shouldn’t have given your private information to the TEA app??” Yeah man none of us ever give personal info to apps, yahoo fantasy has like my daughter’s hospital records

There was one sportstalk moment EVERYONE from the early 90s remembers. Viral before “viral” existed:

He was about to bring home a copy of the new secret Mario game where the Princess is NAKED and says the F word, but he got arrested (for drinking Pepsi)

Send us YOUR "hamburger moment" and you and a guest could be on your way to "die" at the world premiere of Freakier Friday!

Randomly remembered a kid in grade school who claimed his uncle worked for Coca-Cola and if anyone ever caught him drinking a Pepsi he'd be ARRESTED

Ozzfest was the first show I went to without an adult & right as Ozzy came onstage I got pelted from the lawn by a full red margarita slushie, ruining my coolest shirt (Hard Rock Cafe: COPENHAGEN) & leaving me to watch the set with sugar calcifying on my arms attracting bees. It’s called ROCK, MOM

New York Game is extremely good. Insane and/or funny old timey anecdote in like every other sentence

At Ozzfest ‘98 I signed a petition for some kid who got suspended from school for wearing a Korn t-shirt and every so often I worry that guy's gonna email me like "yo Danny Boy! Korn Nation needs you again"

Imagining a bunch of kids at the Science Center getting SUPER psyched to see the IMAX movie cause it’s narrated by Diane Lane. All these crazed 11 year old Unfaithful-heads

I will admit it is vaguely darkly funny to make your whole thing "comedy is legal again" and then use the weight of the federal government to shut down comedians in unprecedented ways. like if they somehow outlawed saying "merry christmas" this year