Blake Audio Dynamite

In every single class I took at Ole Miss that even touched on race, some idiot hatheaded seg academy frat boy spitting dip into a bottle of Mountain Dew would try to explain to the professor how “slavery wasn’t that bad, acshully.” Those people are running the state now.

Nic Cage’s poor financial decisions are the gift that keeps on giving.

I kind of hope not!

Astigmatism. You know her eyesight’s bad because she married me.

We know Trump’s seen Silence of the Lambs because he kept talking about “the late, great Hannibal Lecter,” and this was also Buffalo Bill’s MO in the same movie. 🤔

His only flaw was getting passes batted down at the line of scrimmage. He’s six feet tall, and while he’s accurate and can scramble, his arm strength isn’t elite. You know how NFL scouts are.

I did win the dunk contest, fwiw

Well, it doesn’t apply to me anyway, since I am Blake Lively, the wife of Hugh Jackman, who played Mystique in the X-Men movies

Cool. I didn’t know I was good looking enough to be a movie star. Thanks!

I love all these white dudes in the comments being like “we do all look alike.” None of us will ever be mistaken for a Hollywood leadIng man.

Who said they weren’t?

Sorry, I meant Keith Hernandez, who spat on Larry David in that Seinfeld episode

He was terrific in Sex, Lies and Videotape

My favorite John Carpenter movie is the one where Keith David quit chewing bubblegum and kicked that shape-shifting alien’s ass.

Isn’t that Henry Hemsworth? He’s doing a good job on The Witcher.

Daniel Craig, the son of Jeff Daniel. You know, from the Mission Impossible movies

Who is we?

Maybe the funniest part is, she thought she knew for a fact that Don Johnson was with Goldie Hawn. That is some Melanie Griffith erasure, and I will not stand for it.

Right, that’s Harrison Ford

Good question. She swears she can tell me, which may not be a good thing.

The general from Gladiator?

Her favorite movie is Deep Impact

a man in a leather jacket with a patch on his eye says call me snake ALT: a man in a leather jacket with a patch on his eye says call me snake

Or eye

No, that was Leonardo DiCaprio when he was in that movie about the marathon runner.

It wouldn’t be a thing, except we’ve been doing this “who’s on first” routine for years.

Every old white man watching Bad Bunny at halftime

To a guy who grew up on Escape From New York and Miami Vice and Tron, them’s fighting words

They were both Johnny Utah, famously played in Speed by Christian Slater.