Paging Mrs Herman ☎️

My MIL does this. Spaghetti, frosted cupcakes, salad. Ugh.

I’m just hoping he can get in

I still love that scent lol

My Arizona kid is applying to both those schools

The "He's a hebephile not a pedophile" argument is giving immense "The A in AR-15 stands for ArmaLite, nor Assault!" energy.

Both are a distinction without a difference resulting in irreparable harm to children while the MAGA enablers think they've made a point.

If you need me, tap me on the shoulder. I’ll be happily working all day listening to this on a loop.

"Presidential themed balls" are the source of all our troubles, when you get down to it

Fair warning: your kid will want to reread wimpy kid over and over and over. Better invest in your own copies :)

The 90s are back, baby!

Trump seems incapable of understanding voters who don't engage in hero worship. I don't care how many Democrats or donors or people whose politics align with mine are in the Epstein files. Out them all. Hold them all accountable. The "People on your side are gonna look bad!" threat is meaningless.

I know this isn’t the point, but that chair is spooning Just Dance Vance

Sometimes the truth escapes like a cat out a door you thought was closed.

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

This is the first time I will be spending thanksgiving with my maga family since maga was a thing. Wish me luck!

Or wearing a stupid ball cap with a suit

It’s safe to say everyone who has ever had impostor syndrome is just fine.

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.

Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

Today is a good day to remember, and to say, that the #MeToo movement was right, and was righteous, and has been vindicated over and over again. There was no overreach. There was no excess. There was no they-went-too-far.

So much work remains to be done.

What a great day for finding out that a lot of things people thought were conspiracies are actually backed up by emails that are like hey pedo, let us pedo together in pedoland on the second day of the pedo month

Hmmm, who paid off kavanaugh’s mortgage?

He’s the King

That’s my representative! 💪💪

If i were the president of the united states i simply wouldn't have spent 50-60 years of my life raping and molesting a wide variety of innocent victims including children and then run for office promising to expose pedophiles and then call it a hoax once elected

Panic! At the White House

Thank you for your singling

People make fun of guys for having Man Flu, but here I am with a bad sore throat and a headache and I can’t get myself off the couch.

🫶

After two weeks, I finally caught whatever my kids had. NyQuil, take me away.