Brendan Bergen

Going to the hospital to x-ray my child’s Halloween candy and slipping my arm in there at the last minute to get some free healthcare.

One Halloween I went as a moth.

Schumer is one of the most unpopular politicians in the country, withholding an endorsement is a huge win

Guys, just found out Amazon canceled my rhesus monkey order 😢

The Vabby

Cute face, chubby waist, six legs, in shape

[me, getting zero likes for a month straight]: Huh. Guess AWS must be down.

Trump running for office: I will lower prices

Trump in office: I am making lower prices illegal

One thing good about Bluesky is you’re a lot less likely to see someone unironically use the term “based”

Getting the ChatGPT battlepass gets you access to nipples.

Facebook “on this day” notification that is blank

ominous Facebook notification

Hell yeah

Movie poster for the 1988 movie “the blob”

#nw

First horror movie I’ve seen where the main shooting location is near my house. Also, pretty scary and creepy. Good work, Wes.

A nightmare on elm street movie poster

#nw

Need more Pennsylvania dudes making horror movies

Movie poster for Night of the Living Dead

#nw

Making your low budget movie a parody of low budget movies is big brain filmmaking

Stranger Things cast is now so old they’re being recruited to run as Democrat senators

Movie poster for the movie The Velocipastor

#nw

I remember liking this when it was released, but I forgot that Michael J Fox is honestly incredible in this. Also interesting that in the 90s a mass shooting of 12 people was considered a world famous crime and now there’s one of those every few months

Movie poster for The Frighteners

#nw

Friend recommended this to me 20 years ago. Sorry I put it off so long.

Movie poster for 2002’s Dog Soldiers

#nw

Trying to watch 30 Halloween movies this month so this is a thread tracking that

Important to note that Jane Goodall would not have lived so long had that fateful bite not given her the monkey powers

Oops! All Scheming Viziers

I wanted to get a video of this ghost crab but every time I got close to their hole they scuttled back in, so I tried getting clever with it. I made a little sandcastle and shoved my phone into it, hit record, and walked away. Crab was VERY suspicious of this addition to their environment.

Google trends readout of “cancel Disney plus” showing logarithmic growth in past day

Can someone who is smart at business tell me if this is good?

When it contacts your nose, 60% of this cocaine explodes