The Salmon Mousse

Pluribus

Car boot sale.

An anguished Morrissey.

I wonder who the last person, band or club to “rule OK” was.
When I was a kid, ruling OK was huge. “Status Quo rule OK.” “Brian Clough rules OK.” “Evel Knievel rules OK.” “Liverpool rule OK.” “The Phantom Flan Flinger rules OK.”

Merry Christmas Everyone is possibly the worst ever festive song. Shakin’ Stevens repeats a chorus for three minutes and 39 seconds with a very occasional verse in the wrong place.

Although Step Into Christmas by Elton John isn’t far behind.

Shaun Of The Dead.

19.30 YOU AIN’T HALF HOT MUM Worryingly incestuous sitcom.

This is unbelievable. I got suspended by bluesky just for quoting the lyrics of the Beatles’ “I Want to Hold Your Hand” and changing “hold your hand” to “stab you with a big knife”

If the UK is on the brink of civil war, as Musk claims, it follows that in 300 years time there will be be a new generation of civil war re-enactment societies.

"Geoff,you defend Laurence Fox. Can you guys shout outside a hostel. Brian, i need you to relentlessly slag off Nish Kumar on Facebook."

@victordevine.bsky.social

I’ve not had time to watch this yet, but it would appear to be right up your neck of the woods.

Sort the weather or I’ll stop following you.

Cat Follows Man Through Apartment Like Racist Walgreens Employee

Cat Follows Man Through Apartment Like Racist Walgreens Employee https://theonion.com/cat-follows-man-through-apartment-like-racist-walgreens-employee/

do we think that with enough pressure we can get them to do a u-turn on the u-turn before the Budget, end up getting Reeves pirouetting at the despatch box like a haunted marionette

They didn't want my blood, but they probably want yours! I went to give blood today, but due to a v minor medical issue they couldn't take it. Yet they told me they do need donors. As I couldn't help by giving, instead, I thought i'd publicise this... www.blood.co.uk

Portrait of Trump and Epstein

The truth always comes out eventually.

Best of luck.

Study Finds Most Americans Can't Find Where They Are Being Deported On Map

1 beer: What a nice day
2 beers: Love my friends!
3 beers: I could probably drive a forklift
4+ beers: I'm too handsome to work

Boots.

12.15 FOOTBALL UNFOCUSED The listing is blurred. How funny is that eh? HA HA HA HA? I mean, what a clever idea. OK, maybe not that funny, but still, it's Monday and we're very tired.

Disappointed John Cleese.

The look I get when I join my friends for the pub quiz.

Spot on.

🤣

Social media is weird. I have hardly any followers on Threads, but if I post anything even slightly controversial on there I get flamed. But I could literally plot a murder here, and nobody would care 👍.

Well, that certainly cleared that up.

Where’s the metal?

I’ve accidentally upset a lot of Radiohead fans on Threads. 🧵

Hope you weren’t too funny, or you’ll be our next Prime Minister.

Radiohead are probably the best example of a band whose attitude is “Oh, you like our songs, do you? Well in that case we shan’t play them again! Here’s an album of noises similar to computer games loading up in the 1980s.”

a robot with the number 11 on the back of it ALT: a robot with the number 11 on the back of it

One million humanoid robots on the market by 2035.

13.00 THE TRAGIC ROUNDABOUT The misery continues as Ermintrude is diagnosed with mad cow disease, Zebedee discovers what rust is, and Dougal 'has gone to live on a farm that we can't visit'.

Happy Friday!