Colmery

Blankas stat sheet from street fighter 2

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLANKA

Over on threads someone just use ai;dr and we all need to adopt that right quick

An anthropomorphic cat cooking vegetables on a stove. She is saying “Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors…”

YouTube video by KEXP Angine de Poitrine - Full Performance (Live on KEXP)

This rules youtu.be/0Ssi-9wS1so?...

Watched Groundhog Day again last night.

Exceptional movie for storycraft.

My daughter proposed ending it after Murray and the groundhog drive over the cliff in a truck and it explodes.

Would have been AMAZING ending. Very different movie.

Error: entity released

...horrifying message without context, thank you

My neighbor Randy saw his shadow today so it looks like we’ll be experiencing six more weeks of drunken front yard kung fu

When I first realized I liked bourbon, it took me a while to figure out why. Something. What? Oh. Got it. Grandma’s bourbon balls growing up.

Thank you for bourbon, grandma.

The NFL is unwatchable until you realize the refs are the main attraction.

Filling time with nothing can be at least as productive as filling it with something.

It matters what kind of nothing that is.

born to hurkle durkle forced to go to work

This is amazing.

Someone thought, "You know what? 9 out of 10 moms agree -- babies are annoying to feed AND there just aren't enough ways for them to strangle themselves. I've got just the thing."

Their boss: "I can absolutely get behind this. How soon can we hit the market before anyone else?"

Dangerous self feeding pillow.

CPSC Warns Consumers to Immediately Stop Using Miocololy Self-Feeding Pillows Due to Risk of Serious Injury or Death from Aspiration and Suffocation. The pillows hold a bottle at an unsafe angle while keeping it fixed in place so the infant cannot pull away. www.cpsc.gov/Warnings/202...

My thoughts:

Noodle Shake: Definitely.

Victory Lap: Honestly, merely existing SHOULD earn Olympic gold.

Pet Perspective: Cats are uniquely suited to this, because of the “I really don’t give a shit” heights they reach.

Pet Perspective: If you have a pet, try to explain your current "big problem" to them out loud. Hearing yourself explain a spreadsheet error to a cat usually highlights the absurdity of the stress.

The Victory Lap: Run in place or around your room for 30 seconds with your hands high in the air, cheering silently as if you just won an Olympic gold medal for "Existing."

The "Noodle" Shake: Stand up and shake your limbs as if they are made of cooked spaghetti. Start with your hands, move to your arms, and finish with a full-body jiggle. It’s hard to feel intense while vibrating like a bowl of Jell-O.

Gemini gave me the prompt option: Silly ways to instantly de-stress.

I couldn’t turn that down.

My favorites: 🧵

A cookie gave me this fortune tonight, and I can’t tell whether it is a copout, an ultimatum or a starting point.

Playing phone tag with doctors' offices is super duper wooper nooper grouper flooper snooper fun.

It’s as though some twisted genius took all of the coke-addled seizuredream of 70s fashion and crushed it into the goofy diamond of today’s Harry Caray glasses craze that has latched like a facehugger onto women everywhere.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that you don’t need to bother yourself with trivial matters like communicating with proper punctuation when you work in the insurance industry, public or private.

No wonder the NFL is so popular.

i don’t want to be human anymore

can i be a cloud

Now it is our turn to study statistical mechanics.

It is no longer 2025. Huzzah.

I think it’s about time to put on my drinking pants. #AMA

there should be 30 years between christmas and easter. for realism

I’m wearing an arm brace because I hurt myself just living life and have no idea when exactly it happened years old.