born miserable

A text from my mom that says “I just saw this on my way to the lobby.” and it’s a photo of someone in a pink labubu fursuit in a hotel hallway

The Shining (2025)

Attorney for woman shot by Border Patrol claims officer said 'Do something b-----' before shooting Body-camera video appears to contradict the government's claim that Marimar Martinez, 30, drove toward officers before one of them opened fire at her late Saturday morning in Brighton Park, her attorney claimed. A judge ordered Martinez and a co-defendant released pending trial.

Body-camera video appears to contradict the government’s claim that Marimar Martinez, 30, drove toward officers before one of them opened fire at her late Saturday morning in Brighton Park, her attorney claimed.
trib.al/9Sxu9IN

Once again calling on The Sun to release a storm and take out the internet

Hollywood Forever Cemetery

send me your address so we can be penpals after this

An app icon of a printer/scanner combo and the app name "brother iPrint&Scan"

So Hulk Hogan, why are you a great candidate for the Administrative Assistant position?

Hulk Hogan:

if you do, please post a photo THANK YOU IN ADVANCE KEY YOU RULE ALWAYS I HAVE SPOKEN

starting a social media platform where nobody can post on it, communicate with anyone on there, or even sign up for it

I missed it, did the dumb motherfucker say something

the time to delete this was before you posted it

My friend reminded me of when we'd converse loudly in stores to get a rise out of strangers. Made up stuff like: "Did you feed the dog?" "I thought you did!" "No! That means he hasn't eaten all week!" All lies. And everyone ignored us.

Apparently I've been training to be on social media forever

Unlike Jesus, I have returned.

hard to believe that the president of the United States — a 34-count convicted felon, con man, rapist, domestic terrorist, child molester, bigot, white nationalist, Nazi, and all-around orange dumb motherfucker — is waging war on America

Invite-only, but there are no invites, that's the way to go

who still awake vs who already up, 5:30 AM edition

In a world where Poster's Madness exists, you really can't have one person in charge of anything important

this timeline is so surreal

collapse of the republic!

football!

bluesky moderation meltdown!

collapse of the republic some more!

more football!

the republic: still collapsing!

what horrors await us today?

A bear sits on an electrical line connected to a telephone pole.

Cohen looks down at the notepad, closes his eyes, conjures up the image. He shakes his head. Picking up his pencil, he scratches out a word. “No,” he thinks, “definitely 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘥.”

Yes I'm still watching, Netflix, and it's not like you don't have things to be ashamed of.

Jean Paul Gaultier Spring 2026 Ready-to-Wear Fashion Show The complete Jean Paul Gaultier Spring 2026 Ready-to-Wear fashion show now on Vogue Runway.

New all the wrong takeaways from the Hunger Games lookbook just dropped

me: you say you saw my client shoot the so-called victim. but isn’t it possible that none of this is real? isn’t that a possibility? that we are all as but figments of imagination of some unknown being?

prosecutor: objection!

the judge, renee descartes: sustained

Suggestion for our overlords:
suspend romance scambots instead of real users. Remember, if it doesn't have a beating heart to still, it's not murder. It's not even necrophilia.

This might just work.

This day in history. 1980. Johnny Rotten, jailed in Dublin for barroom brawling, was forced to watch news reports and a documentary about Johnny Rotten.

you telling me the ground nutted this oil?

excuse me but there was nothing in the wedding invitation about “no capes”

A pale sugar cookie with green icing and Halloweenie sprinkles.

When my kid was a little, there was some sugar laden cereal that had a Halloween edition and the ghostly bits in it turned the milk green. They said “the ghosteses make the milk green” and we bought it every year.

Now we’re all adults. So we get cookies instead.

Pretty clear Stephen Miller, Noem, Hegseth and Trump are trying to provoke a Civil War at this point. What's interesting is they want to do it now, because even though they're unpopular, they seem to believe this is the most popular they'll be ever again. We can't let them win.

BREAKING: Bluesky Announces New Slogan “Not as Transphobic as X, But We’re Working on It”