Me: why are you being fussy?

3yo daughter: it’s hard to say

Guy takes goose decoy to store

[Sucking up to God] All things are beautiful. I love life.

This is just to say
You need
An operation
In your chest

Which i
Can probably perform.
Because
You're not my son

"Forgive me,
But doctor
I am your son
Pagliacci

Man I don't care if it's right seven times a day, eight times a day. We need a new clock. It needs to be right 100% of the time.

In a good way

It's like you're having a conversation with adorno through a coffee filter

KOKO THE GORILLA: koko send email. practical Koko type message
Jeffrey Epstein: kooko... part y nex=t week coming>?
KOKO: good email good koko give beautiful koko helicopter to jungle
JE: kko, we cnt get u gorlluhh. endsong vits to is. Land
KOKO: jealousy pedophile

You can just use cheap stuff that works reliably. You don’t have to switch to slop that doesn’t work just because it’s newer and more expensive.

The water tastes really good

Unfortunately the gender ratio makes 70% of men venomously misogynistic and another 20% normal misogynistic

When people talk about the problems with plastic and the need to move away from it, they're often speaking about single-use items. But the stuff that's supposed to last is awful too. I broke a mop and a swifter by scrubbing too hard. Our snow shovel cracked. High-end vacuums are un-repairable

That is interesting!

I strongly believe that repurposing academic language such as "privilege" and "toxic masculinity" and "cultural appropriation" is ineffective and alienating, but as far as I'm concerned this is explanatory for a movement's limitations or impotence more than the countermovement's strength.

What is the difference between sleet and freezing rain?

rented a car in Wales and the guy said "remember, here we drive only on the left, and pass on the right" no adjustment needed brother, I am a bmw owner

I'm going to buy one, and then write posts that begin with prefatory stuff about how I love my Optimus and then are like "it is odd that all it does is piss and there's no way to make it not piss. It doesn't seem like robots would have to piss, and Tesla has not been very helpful wrt the pissing."

british guy: i hope americans are ready to be hated

lib american reply: i'm so ashamed of my countrymen, i hope that the british don't hate me specifically

Hamburglar: i haven't stolen anything since i got sober

BREAKING: disney set to announce shocking $65bn deal to acquire the catholic church. "we are so excited to fold the jesus christ extended universe into our diverse and lucrative intellectual property portfolio, and we look forward to giving people even more of the stories they love than ever before"

Fake advertisement for Draft Kings in a print copy of The Onion. In the front of a photo of a house with a foreclosure sign, it reads: "Draft Kings Earn a free $10 toward buying back your house."

excellent work by @theonion.com this month

...it's January 16th

One of the greatest theoretical minds of the European socialist movement and the author of numerous classic works, Rosa Luxemburg, was murdered on this day in 1919.

We're offering 30% all works on or by the great revolutionary and theorist.

Elon Musk Cannot Get Away With This If there is no red line around AI-generated sex abuse, then no line exists.

There is a crisis of impunity. The Musk/Grok stuff is just one f many examples of people who are counting on there never being any consequences. And it all makes me just incandescently mad.

He's so smart

You’re not imagining things—the plums that were in your icebox are *completely gone*. Here’s why that’s bad news:

• They were *your plums*, that you were saving for breakfast. That makes this personal for you.

• They were *sweet*, so whoever ate them *enjoyed* them. That’s unforgivable.

We’re touching stove, and frankly, we’re going to be touching a lot more than just stove very soon. We love burner, don’t we? Should I touch it? They don’t think I should touch it. I’m going to touch it folks.

WHAT

It’s true that there’s something called an LLM that is somehow involved with this feature much like it’s true that there’s something called a Linked List that is somehow involved with a thread, but that’s none of our business! All that matters is what the feature does!