i got rug pulled by the president

i am a parrot

inject eggnog into my veins

there should be a word for when you both have to pee and are thirsty

i’m the only one brave enough to belch on the streets of new york

bok bok

euphemism? or i take back my like

felated birthday

i upper on her east side so well she gossip to her girls

situationship ❌
fwb ❌
this thing of ours ✅🤌

prince has to be the pound for pound most attractive man ever

nyc us all about highs and lows. a man shit himself in my train this morning, but u watched a man tuck a lit cigarette in between two bricks on a wall

she bloom on my berg till i mike

if she’s too sweet with my green then she’s chopt 🙅🏻‍♂️
she’s in d naya when she’s stopped

they call me jeremy cuz i’m allen white

monkey pee monkey poo

just changed my sheets #mindtuck

*the weeknd voice*

when i’m on the clock that’s the real me, eh

making fun of their stomach problems is anti-semitic :/

can we fast forward to the year when of mice & men cover bands start popping up?

you’re laughing. they’re doing flips and shit on the subway and you’re laughing.

i’m back on my bullshit (pooping at work)

if you’re a real estate developer, what do you call reviewing saved chats to help you network?

your linkedin logs 😜🤣😂

bloomberg terminal for influencers ad deals

Inspiration gained! Fruit guy

hoo yeah.

yeah it was delish

i just ate an entire pomegranate. AMA

if an ambulance hit you, would they pick you up, or call for backup and proceed to their original emergency? #mindfuck

what’s up you guys we’re revvival and this is an original