Kate

This is so good

I don’t have any slutty clothes so I just have to be slutty on the inside

She’s so great!

I think butts are cool because we just naturally have a seat where ever we go

If you’re consoling someone for using the wrong pronouns, you can give them

their there there they’re they’re

I wonder if Annie was ok that she had been hit by a smooth criminal

Gonna get a rock and paint the word “party” on it. I’ll bring it inside at night and say “party rock in the house tonight”

It’s not a fancy restaurant if I don’t drop something on my shirt

I don’t understand garnish on plates. If I’m not supposed to eat it then put something better than garden trash. How about an iPhone or a cool pen?

A needle felted brown figure. He’s probably a bear but he was supposed to be Bigfoot. Hes got a very crappy top hat and he’s still a work in progress

Me when I’m feeling fancy but I’m still a work in progress

I’ve been working on a “provolone but not provolonely” joke but this is better

I can say what I want, my mom gave me permission

Señor Presidente

Mr President

Water is great because if you see someone drinking it you can say “water you doing?”

Mr Darcy walking toward me in the misty sunrise only he’s just three bags of peanut butter m&ms in a trench coat

“It began with the forging of the great rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings” said Galadriel, an elf

Oh my gosh, I want to run my fingertips along it (in a clean way)

One of my special skills is waiting to eat until I get hangry that you’re not feeding me

Anybody can interact, but will anybody interact? One like = one prayer, say amen and get a squirrel to cross your path

No that’s a tortellini

Where the lie though

The front of a glass bottle of Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar. Lol that’s really the name, it’s not the joke. Oh and it says “with ‘the Mother’” in a red little oval bubble. It’s unpasteurized and organic and raw-unfiltered. The label is yellow and the liquid is light orange

Idk man, if my mother was with apple cider vinegar idk if I’d BRAG about it

Haha farts

A Hot Pocket is also a ravioli

I hope she knows what she’s doing this time

Talking to my nipples like “what is it, girl? What are you pointing at?”

I really don’t want to go to sleep in case it happens and I miss it

Seriously, this would be a green flag for me

Based on what I know I just assume all British guys’ cum tastes like Worcestershire sauce