Twilight Drive

Trump wants Netflix to let Susan Rice go because he doesn't like her. As a subscriber for years I will unsubscribe. I hope others will too if netflix does it.

I saw a Canadian goose try and land on a telephone wire today. The wire sagged, his webbed feet doing that Elmer Fudd on ice thing before he gave up, flapping away.The pigeons on a nearby building were all the fuck was that

When I’m tired, I quietly fantasize about ordering spaghetti

don’t be embarrassed and wait until the last minute of your doctor’s appointment to bring up stigmata

I like how people say "manage your depression" like it's a stock portfolio but you're heavily invested in sadness

I spent four days alone and I think I found my calling

The lack of consequence for the scumbags in the Epstein Files is going to give so many people in authority the feeling they can do whatever the fuck they want. Managers. Administrators. The guy who runs the car wash. It signals to the worst, those waiting for an excuse.

love to be stressed out every minute of every day about things I cannot directly control

Got in my spaceship and set course for Mazzy Star

The Prime Minister of Canada had to take time out of his day to explain a bridge to a pedophile.

Kid Rock is the Rob Schneider of rock.

I think it’s best to ignore the US and let that house burn. The fact no one has stormed the White House puts them in the same category as the neighbour who freebases beside his propane tanks. There’s nothing you can do to change them. Let nature take its course.

I felt a kinship with Claremont’s X-Men. This reached its peak with GOD LOVES, MAN KILLS. Now I just read X-Men out of nostalgia, but it doesn’t feel the same.

What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss? Anton Chigurh here for FanDuel,

It was -22 this morning so I could probably hang out in outer space and be just fine

He’s got that little stick that goes TOK. That’s how he wins.

Most wrestling fans I know tend to skew left. The WWE hardcore, though, are a different story.

He will always have the WWE crowd.

What a cunt.

Evangelicals believe he was chosen by God as an ‘imperfect vessel.’ Or that’s their rationalization that allows them to sleep at night.

Oh, I get it now! We work until we die! Cool.

i am trying not to joke about the Epstein stuff because it's so horrible but there's also this ridiculous element where it's like... discovering Dracula is real, he's taken over human society at the highest levels, he's involved in tons of evil and also he's a huge dipshit

If I die, I want my remains to be scattered at the US Capitol. Do not cremate me.

And he shits himself

Quatar?

Cobra chickens

I’m just saying that our politics would be a lot less polarized if Americans still read comics on a regular basis

Brilliant.

When anyone from SCTV dies it’s like 30 people have died. Every character they created was as alive as anyone else you’ve ever met.

There was no funnier woman than Catherine O’Hara. SCTV was gold, as was everyone on it. Nothing has ever come close. Nothing.

Fuck this year.