Cosmic Clau

I officially have nothing mature and intelligent to say...

Uranus is a gas giant.

They should make overthinking that’s positive

Beware those who use all caps in their bios

a vending machine for venn diagrams but the middle slot is permanently jammed.

My aspiration is to walk through a hotel lobby with my luggage without looking like I'm fleeing a crime scene carrying body parts. Just wheels gliding smoothly. No bags wobbling over.

—Just a man and his suitcase, trying to get away with murder.

Guy who invented gravy: we need a fucking boat

Do you ever laugh your ass off reading a skeet, think, "This account is so fucking funny," look at their profile page and go, "They only have 2.5K followers?! How can that be?"

I'm full of surprises that way

"I wish this wall looked like me"

- Inventor of the mirror

Picking at my mortal portion.

More hubbub than typical from the crow crew today.

I love this so much. 🧡🙌

95% sure I’ll have the house to myself long enough to get a nap in this evening and that brings an inexpressible joy to my heart

But have you tried eating half a pan of brownies in one sitting about it.

Stupid things love to grow in my brain.

The feral urge to pipe the henna directly into my mouth. Why does it smell so good?!

can bones be tired i think they can bc mine sure are

bsky should have a dream tab where it’s just all animals and oceans and pastries and flowers

maslow’s hierarchy of looksmaxxing

This is true 😊

*...and sometimes, you've got to kick the machine. 🤷‍♂️

it should be called a venting machine because once you've paid, you're entitled to kick and yell at it until you feel better (the candy bar falls)

face reveal. wrong answers only.

Shared laughs that no one gets but ourselves kind of love.

drones are the future? fuck that. i want a flying car from the jetsons that makes that little purring sound lol

the girl with the dragon tattoo (it's a woman with her hands positioned on herself in a way that looks like someone else could be embracing her in a kiss) the dragon tattoo is of pete's dragon

There is a ghost squid living in the highly pressurized environment behind my eyes. It doesn't speak for me, it just floats around, enjoying the fathomless dark of the deep. Sometimes a long tentacle escapes an ear, but otherwise you would never know it was there at all.

thigh highs, but they’re compression socks

The cloaked local folk smoke and choke on Coca Cola at the polka.

If you turn it up you can hear his “happy about a new box” purring