Cosmic Clau

Indeed

😂😂

I'm an academic who's addicted to puzzles, a sudoku intellectual if you will.

I'm an academic who believes Phil Collins is a great songwriter, a Sussudio intellectual if you will.

YouTube video by TheCureVEVO The Cure - Lovesong

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Talking on FaceTime in public without headphones is theater no one bought tickets for.

An assumption is a guess you think is real.

An owl sits in a branch, eyes closed, head tilted, claw outstretched in a “hold up a second” gesture.

my kid correcting me about a dinosaur fact

Me: (still mad from the 90s) Ben folds five OF WHAT?!

I do puzzles because the doctor said it would help my memory. I don’t remember having memory issues. Or seeing a doctor.

Nice argument. Unfortunately, your mama

I’m not a complicated women. I see ‘90s Jeff Goldblum, I upvote ‘90s Jeff Goldblum

Moo'd.

i’m as unmanageable as my unaligned ducks

we have Batman, Ant-Man, Spiderman, and yet no one has been brave enough to make a movie about Millipede-Man (he has one thousand wriggling legs)

I was once part of a failed human ladder to try to get some coconuts out of a coconut tree in Puerto Rico.

Let’s just say it didn’t end well but only our pride was hurt.

I’m an academic who believes Olive Oyl should dump her weird boyfriend and date me, a Bluto intellectual if you will

There's a plant in the house with a label on the pot that says "I'm hard to kill".

I don't like to brag, but...

That ship has sailed, indeed! Now it's out of fuel in the middle of the ocean

Six degrees of exasperation.

I’m ten cliches in with this crime drama.

How many hours can you sit in silence on the edge of an unmade bed before it's considered a symptom?

WIFE: So what did you do today?

ME: I wrote a song about what it would be like to have narcolepsy. It's called Slumberstruck.

HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'.

(wakes up)

Wait, can I still push it real good or did I lose momentum?

(hums main theme and falls asleep again)

the 80 and 90s movies really gaslighted me into thinking more people would be outside my window professing their love

*invites you to my stagnation party*

I waited so long for my food delivery, the ‘Live Tracking’ just showed my driver retiring.

The details were fuzzy so they didn't get anyone too far but the general drift of the atmosphere was like, we'll figure this out you know, play the theme from unsolved vibrations on the singing bowl again

a drawing of a ladder and a banana peel Alt: A .gif of Wile E. Coyote climbing down a ladder and then slipping on a banana peel beneath it and sliding off screen

Me trying to create engagement

A freshly painted orange zebra crossing on a road. Orange pawprints (as though from a cat or small dog) veer off to the left for a while before heading back to the line

Out for a stroll with my spirit animal