neil typewriter

a black and white cat looking at the camera on an orange rug, on a brown patio, facing a yard of green grass. there's a brown wood fence in the background and a ladder leaning on the left side of the fence. the fence is topped with luscious green vines

happy caturday , it's my friend's cat but I love this trend so-

If they cannot divide, then they can not conquer!

good jorb!

love that the 007 character is the biggest wimp in the squid game

squid game stab maze is the new paintball

I love how The Bear finally addressed how nice it is to hang out in the walk-in.

Me At The 2025 Fruit And Vegetable Expo In Las Vegas:
"They're called Fapples, they're delicious, and you don't wanna know how they're made."

Life is like a box of chocolates that someone shit in.

Popcorn is short for popeye cornelius, inventor of the well known snack

putting popcorn kernels in my bra to feel something

bro i was like "who is kimiko" and ran a search, at work, and that was bad lol

And they are just regular city people, it's the guy that SH 11 women and did all that stuff with the nursing homes that's weird. That dude is weird! Wanting everyone to be healthy and safe isn't weird! omfg lol

Play it backwards.

A lot of really shitty people are mad tonight and that makes me feel good

People are wondering what Cuomo will do next and my suggestion is go directly to jail for even having the audacity.

I hope Bill Clinton is lying in bed, staring wide eyed at the ceiling, realizing that him and George Santos have the same amount of popularity and political pull in 2025.

I love that the bit is "<historically terrible person> has endorsed Cuomo" and then George MF Santos is like "hold my beer".

Sometimes life really is about the griddies you didn't hit.

If Benjamin Franklin were alive to see what this country has become he'd be so addicted to porn and gas station pills.

I appreciate the enthusiasm and attention to detail you put into constructing an exact replica of my home environment in your cellar to hold me captive in but tbh I’m just not feeling it rn sry :’(

HEY, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, I'M CONTEMPLATING THE FUTILITY OF MY OWN EXISTENCE OVER HERE

Gonna start a restaurant called AI SLOP, where you order "a hamburger shaped like danny devito" and then some line cook blasted on shrooms gives it their best shot. A pizza made entirely out of frozen wine? Hope you're hungry dumbass!

Is there anything dumber than these rich babies firing missiles at each other?

🎶My milkshake makes me blackout in the yard🎶
🎶That's right, it's laced with K🎶
🎶That's right, it's laced with K🎶

A boner pill so strong it reverse mortgages your home and buys a jet ski!

the amulet shop clerk told me you bought the weakest amulet bro

It's all just "I posted rage bait, please respond" journalism from here on out.

I really wish it would show the top 20 because the top 5 are always terrible topics to post about.

Breaking: New Cuomo Endorsements Announced From Sean "Diddy" Combs, Larry Nassar, And The Evil Dead Trees

I think I know how Bruce Banner felt the first time he turned in to the Hulk because the energy I am using to -not- post all the political skeets that are flowing through my veins right now is immeasurable.