Microdosing Computer Duster

I think it's because gelatin is used in the winemaking process sometimes

Bud Light? More like: hey BUD, you're the LIGHT of my life ❤️

50 year mortgage? Uh why not 1000 year mortgage? This would be good for the economy

being a stormtrooper sitting in my bathtub trying to shoot myself and its not working and I just miss every time and get incrementally more frustrated

"Serious fact: despite being called “limestone”, the rock actually has no relation to the green citrus fruit" then an image of limestone and a red circle with line through it over a lime

Disapproving man with big hand

Found this stock photo and made this guys hand even bigger hehe

"Fun fact: the name limestone comes from the fact that it's make up of millions of tiny little fossilized limes :)" with an image of a limestone rock and an inset image of limes

"Alexa, Google search grey alien big boobs sexy"

I got a big dick!
You read that wrong
You read that wrong too

I love my computer ❤️🖥️

bad news for 800,000,000 lbs of krill, I just started my south polar migration 😈😈

Life hack: wait until the end of the year to buy a calendar. That way you can pick one up at a discounted price 😉

Photo of Barnyard (2006) on Blu-ray home video

The milkman cometh

"if nobody got me I know Hamood got me" meme

Disney spent $300 million on John Carter (2012) when I was able to pick it up for only $3 at the thrift store. Dumb idiots lol

People don't realize this but flying cars are real:

Busses are just long cars
Passenger planes are just flying busses
Ergo, passenger planes are flying cars 😁

The diagnosis is in: it turns out I'm sick AF 😤

My body is a machine that turns Baldur's Gate 3 play time into slightly higher Baldur's Gate 3 play time

'Nice cock' over an image of a badass skeleton with pistols

Dewing it in the shower rn (drinking mtn dew while showering)

AI artists are the most oppressed race. Followed by gamers, of course

Purchased Ratatouille for the ps2 from the thrift store and it doesn't work 😭

"care to explain this gap in your resume?"

how about you explain this gap in your chest that I'm about to create 😤

Install Linux haha jk

you don't understand, it was the hand of fate that guided me to eat an entire bag of salt and vinegar chips

There's a moth on my alarm clock and I've never felt so blessed

Amazon is now the dollar store of the internet

Imagine hair barber but for foreskin

Skeleton in dryer

🎵Ding🎵

Damn, I'm out of clean towels, oh well

-climbs into dryer on puts it on quick dry