Jon Taylor

AI experts reckon SuperAI might wipe out humans in 25 years. Not quite sure why they’re calling it Super, but I’m 63 … reaches for the popcorn.

Probably pronounced Gary.

Nigel Farage has a woman problem doesnt he? He doesn't like women. And women can tell.

I’m pretty sure “stupidity” covers it.

Forty years ago, James Bond stopped Max Zorin destroying Silicon Valley in "A View To A Kill". In hindsight, we should probably have heard him out.

Me too. I was late 40’s when I discovered this.

Where’s the flush handle?

Don’t be silly.

Well deserved.

I endorse this message

Surely a “Private Drive, however turning is welcome” sign would be the antidote.

Two cannibals eating a dead clown. One says to the other “Does this taste funny to you?”

Safer as a man.

No one wants to be found at the bottom of a cliff with their underwear round their ankles😱

Big fish, small pond or always be the smallest and least accepted planet, no brainer really. Gotta respect the choice.

You just dissed a Strawberry Split or Mivi, as such a state of war now exists between us.

Thanks Beave, may your dreams come true.

Will you marry me?

If Nigel Farage wants to be seen as a safe pair of hands with the economy, he needs to start ordering beer in half pints. He never drinks more than an inch needed for the photo shoot so wasting all that beer doesn't bode well for his ability to handle the economy.

It’s Rocket science

A sad wanker writes…

It genuinely annoys me more then anything that I won't be able to attend my own funeral. I want to be there and see who turns up and how many people there are. I want to see who cries and hear any speeches made. I think about it all the time.

Egg boxes don't get enough credit. Only a thin bit of cardboard and yet you hardly ever find a broken egg in one. Buy a pen online and it comes in a massive box wrapped in bubblewrap.

See also lockable wheel nuts and security codes in a Nissan Cumquat. Nobody is robbing the “stereo”.

If Apple were confident in Bluetooth audio they'd have removed audio jacks from laptops and desktops. But they didn't. They know it sucks.

I’d check my wardrobe.

Once again, the BBC enables the now-ridiculous 'newspaper industry' to inject a damaging virus into the national conversation. ITV (GMB) is far worse.

All 'newspaper reviews' on mainstream TV & Radio should be stopped immediately.

If you want to know what the papers say, go and look it up FFS.

Tube drivers get £68k per year. A teacher is lucky to get £40k in London. Only one of those jobs would take a morning to learn.

When driving, if you find that you are regularly braking for less than a second, then you drive like a fucking wanker.

This is true. And you need something to blame.

The least appropriate saying has to be 'a poor workman blames his tools'. Anyone who has ever tried to complete a manual task knows that using the right tool is essential.