Ghostspoon

It must suck getting struck out by Ohtani, like damn, I couldn't hit that. Only guys like Ohtani could have hit that.

THAT'S where it's from? I assumed it was an isolated sound bite

I loved when they showed his highlights and he had like 110 yards and even the throws he did make were pretty bad. The guy plays like it's 1922 and the school paper just dubbed him the Corn Crusader.

Northwestern N, Oregon O, spells “NO”

I agree, scoreboard

Hell yeah

The AFC situation is once again going to be absolutely bonkers. And I'm going to die laughing if once again it ends with the bloodied victor getting thrashed by a team who has figured out that actually maybe you only need about 8.5 yards for a first down.

Games like this it kicks ass to live in the mountain time zone. The best of all time zones.

Matt Prater has now made field goals during five presidential administrations

Cam Newton absolutely furious right now

twitter sports news that calls Penix a rookie and also Jayden Daniels and also says the commanders beat the giants, but they are still playing.

today's news from twitter that says "cowboys trade parsons to packers".

Twitter sports news section really on it. Parson's was traded a week ago, the commanders and giants are still playing, and neither qb is a rookie. Good try though!

It's 2034, you are hooded and led down a deep labyrinthine tunnel system. As you approach, the faint smell of syrup touched your nostrils. "I hear you have the plans for the Goya Sponsored Death Star" says Ms. Rachel. "Isn't this fun". A thousand voices respond, "Hands are clapping, clap clap clap."

Oh you know the muffin man? The muffin man who lives on Drury lane? Ok what's his name then, since you two are so fucking tight

Chewy.com: tell us what you thought of your recent order for: cat litter?!

Idaho State offensive lineman named BROOX MCGIVEN

Idaho State offensive lineman named STRYKER RASHID

Idaho State safety named Rylan Leathers

Idaho State defenisve end named PO MAMA

dude I cannot watch football anymore without spending the entire game on the roster page. how is "Trajan Sinatra" potentially not even a top-3 name on Idaho State's roster alone

At the playground and these kids do NOT know "yes and"

SMU receiver Jordan Hudson

What is even the point of SMU being in the ACC if this WR is not scheduled to play against Bill Belichick at North Carolina

Compiling a list of the 25 most critically acclaimed, universally agreed upon best TV shows of all time: the Wire, Dad figure to a band of misfits who just want his approval but he's too depressed, game of thrones.

Ariel's deal is she can have legs, and if she can get Eric to kiss her in 3 days, she can stay but abandon her family and friends forever. If not, her soul belongs to Ursula. She also has to pay upfront with her voice. Ariel girl, careful, I know a private equity deal when I see one.

My cat with my dad after I have been away a lot. The cat is giving a look that can definitely trigger an ill advised late night text wanting to "clear some things up"

When you're with someone new but see an ex across the bar

If he gets cornered in a room with an array of everyday stuff, I wonder if he'll be able to use anything as a makeshift weapon and fight his way out.

How he got his pheasantique.

Coldplay tickets for 2 aren't too bad right now

Tweet thread that says. I must have been about 18 years old, my dad's 40+ pickup game needed an extra guy so I tagged along. The dude I was covering had to be 60 fucking years old. Wearing fucking converse weapons, umbro soccer shorts, and a Looney Tunes t-shirt. And he fucking ruined my life. I went home and never wanted to play basketball ever again. His shots were banking off my fucking soul. When your white dad turns 40, the federal government sends him a pair of NBs, a geometry book, a Kevin McHale DVD and the rest is up to him. That 60 y.o dude was yelling out names of dudes I hadn't even heard of. He yelled out "Bob Pettit" before nailing a baseline jumper I had to go home and get my Basketball Almanac to find out who it was cuz we didn't even have Google back then. I felt so disrespected. I just called my dad to ask for more details about this dude. and he said he still plays, and is nearly 75 years old. And still very very good. Apparently he played at Holy Cross and in the Navy. That man haunts my fucking dreams

I regret not keeping the same pic and username as on twitter for brand recognition. It's nice to reinvent myself but how will my 120 followers find me?

If I gotta put together a team for one last job, im calling this guy first.

If I'm that divorce attorney, I'm going to say the word Coldplay so many times the Judge has to step in.

I put a sticker on my Tickle me Elmo that says "I bought this before I knew he was a Nazi" so people don't judge me.

Maybe he meant "chews" like the granola bars? They have been conspicuously popular for years now.