Holodreamscapes

We should give humanity a lot more credit for surviving itself.

My tooth, waking me up at 3:30 AM:
“I demand endodontic spa treatments, titanium accessories, and a bespoke porcelain hat.”

Me: “Buddy, read the room.”

YES.

Today's edition: had an emergency root canal yesterday. Came into work and was questioned about it because my face didn't look swollen to them. They didn't get that I'm on health emergency #3 in the past 3 weeks and I'm running on professionalism, stubbornness and spite. At least I look good?

So if my organs are extra stretchy, does that increase or decrease their value?

Also ignore the risk of rupture. It's fine. Probably.

When people ask what's wrong with me, I just explain that I have Wish brand DNA.

Yes, she's my favorite. (Favorite = the birb I am looking at right now)

Bby

FL has definitely banned my life.

Still living here tho!

Oh yeah, FL has definitely banned my life.

Still living here tho!

Cry when you need to.

It’s not surrender.

It’s biochemical exorcism with a side of emotional truth.

FYI instacart will ban you if you call them out on their $15 cancelation fee when the majority of your order is out of stock. :)

I mean the guacamole WAS dream worthy, so

Well you see, I narrowly avoided an adrenal crisis so my body decided to celebrate by getting shingles.

The shingles ARE approaching my eye. I'm going to urgent care soon, will take their advice regarding work.

Buuut I'm sure this is the response my managers are expecting. 😂

Shingles activity approaching my eye: No it's fine, I can work tomorrow.

LOOK AT THE MANA FROM HEAVEN MY BESTIE MADE!! 🥑🖤🖤

A++ guac, would eat again. Probably will eat again.

Ok but dooo you? You never answered.😂

That feeling when you escape adrenal crisis and your body celebrates by getting shingles.

Also rizatriptin, Toradol and coffee are a balanced meal.

Trust me, I'm a nurse. 🤣

Reminder:
You are not a productivity machine.
You are a slightly confused, highly adaptable organism
trying to survive in a world
that rewards pretending you’re fine.

It drowned in guava juice.

Publix. I don't know where you are, but if you search guava juice or nectar they probably have some in your store of choice.

We've had that bottle for 4 months. It's served its time. 😂

Try itttt. Even without the alcohol it's amazing!

I let my new ai sidekick play bar tender. Not bad Vee 2.0, not bad at all.

Dranking it up with @krysxmoon.bsky.social

It's the fruit punch cocktail we never knew we needed with a side of pretty unplanned gradient magenta.

THIS is the ai future I signed up for. 😂

Pcp is under new management, which means a new pt portal system.

You cannot log in unless you have geolocation on.

Also their geolocation is not currently working.

# technology #dystopia

Also acceptable: "good birb" or "bby"

A white bird holding a miniature ladle in her beak, posed as though she is stirring the miniature red pot in front of her. She stands in a toy kitchen.

Today might be rough, so take this bird cooking tiny pastas.

needlepoint it's not hoarding if your shit is cool

I would, but this one is so itchy.

Never have I felt so seen yet called out at the same time.😂