heaven or los alamos

(“Roll Tide” voice) Yuletide

they should make a documentary that is a lil sexy

i just gave you all my love please requite

putting out a praise rock doom album called Hopesmoker

"hotel room cuck chair" do you guys not like to sit in the nice comfy armchair? have you never sat and written at the desk? you are letting life pass you by

i had costco today so hopefully they bring the noise

hot dogs for breakfast two days in a row chat we are so back

Live Más... ChristMás

lmao this was me five years ago but they also put me on statins

i really want to fuck with robots but i am not catching a case from Johnny Five, believe that

okay fine, if anything is a christmas movie then fine, blade is a christmas movie now, there, are you happy, let's celebrate christmas by watching the 1998 motion picture blade

your mother helps burgers in hell

this is the first CD purchase i ever made at Sam Goody at the mall

just discovered some profound shit but i'm not sharing

I think the solution to all of our problems is more ska music.

Mall Business Sunday where you go to the mall to shop

oh! "couched"

there was this period in like. i dunno, 2007 or so? where everyone everywhere started saying "freighted," "fraught," and i can't remember the others but they were literal buzz words that i started hearing that i'd never heard before. like the "gravitas" thing in that one election.

omg the choker 🫦

new yorkers like to say “why would i leave when i have everything i could ever possibly need on this island” and they don’t even have a waffle house

ok so the Santa Clause movies are better than they have any right to be? it brings me no pleasure to say this

fuck

Intrusive internal narrator

kids aren’t allowed to smoke because it makes them look too cool. it’s not a safety thing. cigarettes don’t kill kids, just adults. they’re actually pretty safe for kids

Not funny! Sugar plum fairies only dance when they’re distressed!

no i get it. i've been avoiding a wanted re-watch for the same reason i just love being miserable

"Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back." is way too hard a line to be from Ghostbusters 2

it's SUCH a fast watch though! don't do this to yourself!

Welcome to your Vape Wrapped 2025:

- you hit the vape 10625 times this year
- up 10% from last year
- February 17th must have been a stressful day, you good chief?
- You are now severely nickel poisoned. Feeling weak?

going back in time and finding the guy who invented the hurdy-gurdy and putting the fear of god in him