Michael Flamank™️

having my life "pass before my eyes" in a near death experience and realizing the studio gave me WAY too much leeway on the assembly cut 🤦‍♂️

24.02.2025 14:28 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

9 times out of 10 the fun socks I'm wearing go unnoticed, and that's okay, more whimsy for me

24.02.2025 05:35 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

There's 👏 no 👏 law 👏 that 👏 says 👏 you 👏 can't 👏 use 👏 two 👏 pillow 👏 cases 👏 on 👏 one 👏 pillow👏

23.02.2025 16:49 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Trump: all unlikely animal friends are to be put down

Democrats: *crickets*

Trump: have the crickets slaughtered too

22.02.2025 13:50 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

me, at 3am getting water while trying not to lose my sleepiness:

10.12.2024 14:04 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

DOCTOR: You may want to be seated for the news I'm about to share...

ME: *sits criss-cross applesauce*

DOCTOR: ...not like that

07.12.2024 08:00 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

does anyone know who the CEO is of Christmas lights that EXPLODE after just slightly tapping the floor?

06.12.2024 09:12 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

woah... okay anyone else get like the EXACT same Spotify Wrapped they got last year? 🤯🤯🤯

06.12.2024 08:16 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

ME: you okay?

TAROT CARD READER: it's just- no one's ever got the swords through the head guy so many times in a row

ME: [drops another💰] ...I mean, couldn't hurt asking just oneee more time if this is the microblog that will finally validate me, right?

06.12.2024 08:14 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0