Do you think he’d do a straight swap? Nobel Peace Prize for the Epstein files?

The font’s in the colours of the rainbow, so it’ll still anger a fair few. Bloody woke Tories!!

Can we get Trump to tweet in support of Farage for Thursday? Maybe start talking up annexing Norfolk at the same time.

“10M people can’t be wrong”

I bet they were.

No smoke without fire is it, Russell?

Would’ve been different had the plane gone down on a fucking golf course.

So, you’re saying, in future, that I may read something on Facebook that’s not strictly true??

Dragged myself out for my first ParkRun, following a 12 week injury lay-off. A temperature of 0 °C, icy underfoot and a very, very slow time. Exercise, just say no, kids.

Boxing Day tidy up. Absolutely harrowing.

Of course it failed, the miserable twat.

Car dropped off at garage ✔️

M.O.T related anxiety levels through the fucking roof ✔️

Christmas tree’s up and now I can start my traditional countdown to putting it away again.

It's fucking December again.

Haha… nice shirt. Who’s he going to see?

What a legend.

Fuck me, what you playin’ at tonight?

The news that people inheriting land worth at least £1 million will have to pay tax on it has drawn significantly more outrage from politicians and the press than the news that 1 in 3 children in Britain are now living in poverty…