PvS

Wow that is something else

Patrick's Himalayas Trek Help Patrick van Straaten raise money to support Dove House Hospice

In 2027, I'm trekking the lesser Himalayas with my dad to raise cash for Dove House Hospice in Hull. I'll also be working on a community project in New Delhi.

I need to raise £4000 for the charity, and any donation is welcome! Hospices do amazing work! Thank you!

www.justgiving.com/page/patrick...

Steven Gerrard, these players’ names are written in the Roman alphabet my brother

some weeks you need the UCL Goals Show constant flow of dopamine

This Immaculate Body by Emma van Straaten | Waterstones Buy This Immaculate Body by Emma van Straaten from Waterstones today! Click and Collect from your local Waterstones or get FREE UK delivery on orders over £25.

My wife’s book, THIS IMMACULATE BODY, is out in paperback in the UK next week!

It‘s about a woman who becomes obsessed with the man whose flat she cleans. It’s funny, literary and has a disturbing, intoxicating narrative voice.

It’s available in the US as CREEP

www.waterstones.com/book/this-im...

This is probably only funny to me but Rich Piana dictated it to me in a dream

Me: I wonder if I should go back to creatine

Every fitness influencer: I drink 6 glasses of piss a day. Let me explain.

The NHS says that drinking more than 1.5 cups of piss may be bad for your health. So I recommend you start with 100ml of piss per kilo of body weight and build up slowly

have been wondering why my diet is so much easier this time round than before and then remembered that my broken hand = not weight-lifting and running 3-6 times a week

yeah but it's not great and they don't have passing or carrying stuff. I started out in 2015 with just Whoscored, then went to Understat, then FBref, not that excited to go back

People who already think my football analysis is shit are about to really see something

There are 3 25-year-olds on my train talking about how much they disliked the last season of Stranger Things and they can only articulate this in terms of continuity and “plot armour”. Might have to tick them off

<wipes away tear> it's so beautiful

Rorschach from Watchmen saying “but you won the fifa peace prize”

Dr manhattan vaporises Rorschach

As a shameless joke repeater, I am once again saying that these Botafogo guys are not players, they are a CDO

Arsenal have 5.9 xg across the last two games, but only 3 goals, so it should come as no surprise that Arsenal fans are complaining about the attack

This Rob Reiner news is horrifying

Turned on the first half and looked like Eze was wearing roller skates

I will continue to watch The Diplomat because a uni friend is a series regular, but it is an idiotic show about idiots who want new jobs, it’s indistinguishable from scrolling LinkedIn

There are a great many annoying things about the movie, but perhaps the worst is that it stops and starts the ONLY GOOD SONG maybe 5 times for pointless action and trite conversation

Watching Wicked the film really validated my decision never to see Wicked the stage musical

I was on gas and air just a few hours ago but this is way better

The only solution for Bayern is for Harry Kane to drop one position deeper and go in goal

Dawg I’m kvelling

every team that beats Liverpool this season should blast “Night on Bald Mountain” by Mussorgsky at full time

Neuer’s moustache has successfully changed him from Axis to Allies

My god I am STEAMING about del Toro’s Frankenstein, I’m trying not to pick fights on Letterboxd

This is very meaningless, perfect for Pepi

Right-wingers need to recognise that anti-Muslim scaremongering always makes it sound cool. Calling London “Londonistan”? Calling New York “New Mecca”? Sign me up 🕋

Really appreciate Lily Allen making an album specifically for me, the person with no interest in her music but who loves gossip