Joey Oleary

I'm glad Justin Trudeau is no longer the Prime Minister of Canada, I kept getting him confused with the guy from The Leftovers

Nothing looks more like the 80's than video footage of the 2000's

I can't express how much I don't want to "wolf out" at Great Wolf Lodge

I'm a football fan, I like a Monday night game as much as the next guy, but when having 2 games on Monday night means that Jeopardy! Gets preempted, that is where I draw the line.

As critical as I am of RFK jr. I have taken a fair amount of Tylenol in my life, and I've never carried a baby to full term soooo.....

Ryan Reynolds is so random, isn't that hilarious?

I just beat a bunch of fighter pilots a volleyball, I guess I'd be great at flying jets

I'm gonna save some money by not eating out tonight, I'll Doordash instead

"Coaster" is the coolest name of any ubiquitous item

I'm not a violent person but if you ever try to "cheers" my food with yours, I will kill you

Do you really think Renée Zellweger would've taken Jerry Maguire back if all he said was "hello"

I can't believe I'm still hearing that fucking Owl City song in the year 2025

When Gloria Estefan says "the rhythm is gonna get you", it feels like a threat

Most superheroes aren't equipped for cold weather crimes

I wanted Cal Raleigh to lose the Home Run Derby before I saw him drinking Gatorade Grape Fierce

I can't coast, but I could take Pogačar on the incline

Remember when old cartoons acted like it was harder for a homeless guy to find pants than a barrel with suspenders attached?

Why would you even make gummy worms that aren't sour? That's a job for bears

Unless something happens at 5 days old, don't start a book with the main character's birth

There's nothing I'd love more in the world than winning the Stanley Cup, I just want to never have to play the game of hockey to do it

I feel like they'll give anyone a handicap placard these days

To drive an Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, you have to have a college degree. That's bologna.

How come nobody can beat Bobby Flay when it just the same dish with ancho fucking chile?

The guy that framed Roger Rabbit was the same person who was trying catch him for the for the crime. What's even the point?

Sometimes when I look a dog dead in the eye, I realize that it wouldn't surprise me at all if that dog said "what up?"

The older you get, the less you see your friends' bedrooms

Stores will have a sign that says "no shirt, no shoes, no service" and act like flip flops are fine

High school wrestling would be the most popular sport ever if they did a cage match every once in a while

We don't knight people in this country, and it's a giant mistake

You should make one for Harbor Freight that's worse than the rest