His clothes are custom. Nothing in his pockets but knives and soup

PANEL 1: MATTIE and one other person are handcuffed on a platform over a big cylindrical vat full of glowing liquid. Behind them, TWO ARMED TROOPERS stand. One is shouting, next to a big lever. TROOPER: You have all been charged with sexual deviance under the new statutes! TROOPER: You are hereby sentenced… PANEL 2: Closer in on MATTIE and the person next to her. TROOPER (VO): …To being dropped into a big vat of acid, thus dissolving your perverted bodies! MATTIE: I sure did prefer life before we were overrun by fascist stormtroopers. PANEL 3: The TROOPERS look at each other. TROOPER 2: Sorry…What did she-he call us? TROOPER 1: NOT Cool… PANEL 4: The other TROOPER from panel 3. He's crying, and pulls the lever. Some acid splashes into the frame. TROOPER: STOP BULLYING ME! SFX: CLUNK SFX: SPLASH

what did she call us | patreon.com/lubchansky

Nick Clegg was so shit as deputy Prime Minister of the UK that it made us remember that the post of deputy prime minister of the UK existed.

big news banner that reads 'AUTISM ANNOUNCEMENT'

AUTISM ANNOUNCEMENT: i am live on twitch

twitch.tv/geddstation

Outrage over Gaza is doused and ignored; outrage over immigration is stoked and naturalised. This is a political choice, and it is one that is being made by the people in the government who are paid money by the taxpayer to manage these sorts of things.

James O'Donoghue: Supervillain Origin Story (WIP) @jamesocomedy.bsky.social
3 August at Aces & Eights.
A stand-up comedy show about love, loss and 16 terrible films.
camdenfringe.com/events/james...

Don’t want to jinx it but uh… I think I’m in with a pretttttty good shot 🤞

"You read books, eh?" A 1949 red scare Herblock cartoon about pressures on teachers that hits hard once again.

I met a traveller in an antique land. It was David Dickinson.

Yeah, too many people working in the NHS, that's the problem. Too many people and too much money.
Good thing you're on to it Wes, you Pringle faced twat!

The adults back in the room!*

*the room in question is Clown Town children’s amusement centre in Palmers Green.

Screenshot of the London tube map showing the various stations of Acton

EVERYONE, ACTON STATIONS!

#kingoatthemovies

My upstairs neighbours fire alarm is running out of battery and keeps doing that one high pitched chirp every 20 seconds. What’s a polite way to remove my ears?

‘Fix your hearts or die’
David Lynch was a fucking real genius.

Dracula but it’s 2024 and he’s shocked at the house prices. Trying to buy carfax abbey but instead ends up in a flat share in Harringay Green Lanes

Fair’s fair

“Well I’m driving (an electrostar intercity service) home for Christmas”

“You boy, what’s the day?”
“Why it’s Christmas Day sir!”
“Then it’s not too late, I thought I’d slept longer!”
“…2150AD”
“NOOOOOOOO!”
Titles.

It’s one thing when it’s tourists being surprised by the crowds, they don’t know better, but when it’s Londoners? C’mon lads, either you know better or you deserve the crowd.

Oh no, Oxford street is rammed. Always is. It’s shite.

I love that people are posting pictures of huge crowds in London with captions like ‘don’t come to London, it’s too crowded’ but it’s all the most dickhead of places. Leicester squares busy? Yeah. It’s shit. Why are you going there?

He’s been! He’s been!

Edinburgh Fringe this year will have 2 musicals and 8 one person plays about him from the children of war criminals or something

Marley was dead to begin with. Before dying though, bob had performed in the Bamboo Club, St Paul’s in 1972

What are we looking forward to for Christmas telly this year? For me it’s ’It’s a Papal knockout’

Used to be a heptagon until Thatcher closed it down

Didn’t see one house this year with decorations up too early. Not one house with a tree in October.

We used to be a proper country.