Ivan Hernandez

People will always say they’re your friend and they support you no matter what but then they’ll say some toxic shit to you like “you have to let go of the cursed amulet, it’s changing who you are” and “don’t let its power corrupt you” all because they want the amulet for themselves

Oh shiiiiiit this is one of the absolute bangers of all time if you ever saw a guy dual wield pistols in any game or movie it’s because of this

i hate america, capitalism, and driving, three things which are inextricably linked

I appreciate Microsoft aiding the BDS boycott by canceling all their games.

i'm assuming that the reason ice cube did that screen-based war of the worlds and has not really worked otherwise is that he refused the covid vaccine and is thus uninsurable as has happened to a large number of our most evil actors

one of my biggest green flags for alien: earth is that they keep announcing cast members like they're laying out a buffet

you're telling me there's a school... for kids with powers... and it's evil???? wow!!

a grim-faced regis and excited kathy lee introduce quark with auto-subtitles saying "seen quark, let's take a look right now here's quark"

a vaguely menacing quark saunters onto the set with subtitles saying [music][applause]

youtu.be/tvSKy4T-7OI?...

enough time has passed that i can now use common television catchphrases from my youth as if they were my own. gotta love me! not the momma

a platter of roasted salmon, a halved lemon, plate of broccoli, plate of potatoes

yesterday in cooking: slow roasted salmon, broccoli with fresh mozz, rosemary garlic potatoes

new katamari game finally!! don’t think takahashi is involved but hopefully they took enough lessons from the remasters to effectively channel him, this and shadow of the colossus are two of the great ps2 “art” games which is a different rubric from games as art which I will explain if you date me

watching you dildo brain cock suckers play w/ AI shit is like watching a dog paw at one of those puzzle boxes that you put treats inside of

i love to PODCASTEAR with MI AMIGO red

Quit tryna eat!!!

A plate of teriyaki bell pepper pineapple pork with coconut rice, chile lime green beans with pecans

Tonight in cooking: teriyaki bell pepper pineapple pork with coconut rice, chile lime green beans with pecans

after a very frustrating call with Visa (US+CAN), I was told that Visa would like inquiries relating to using their bargaining power to destroy adult media to be sent, via email, to

askvisa@visa.com

they asked. to be sent. emails. you know what to do.

I thought she won for junebug but alas

As one of america’s foremost uncompensated fonts of comic book knowledge you know I had to loudly podcast about superman

Onion headline about a bony soldier with Facebook AI suggestions to learn more about bony soldier’s skills and background

Facebook’s AI suggestions are some of the most aggressively stupid things I’ve seen a corporation push on consumers

superman was fun but more importantly I have spent the last 24 hours explaining dc continuity to A Half-Interested Woman which is the main reason to see comic book movies

Donkey Kong stands on a ruin entrance. Punch downward appears on screen as an instruction.

donkey kong nooooo that’s not how you do satire!!!!

the fifty year olds who are apple tv+'s primary audience are loving it

"alright andrew let's see that smile"

miso-glazed salmon filet on a salad of mixed greens with cucumbers, mandarins, toasted pecans, red+green onions

Today in cooking: miso salmon with “asian-inspired” vinaigrette mixed greens salad with cucumbers, mandarins, toasted pecans, red+green onions

if we combined your ability to finish books and my ability to finish video games we would have one culturally literate person

okay you might actually enjoy Clair Obscur it's very french even though it does commit ginger erasure like 3/4 through

every hellboy game has been a bad 3d beat em up when the character is screaming for a metroidvania with darkest dungeon art style