jeb haus

*looking at the friendly hand-drawn bubble letters on the cardboard box*

This is the work of professional operators. Dark money is involved.

yeeuh

White puff of smoke coming from the Dilbert-looking tower from Scott Adams' stupid mansion. Rest in piss fuckface

Reporting live from the scene: white smoke is coming from the tower, the conclave has chosen a new Dilbert

winnebahegao man

hack for better service at restaurants:

when you sit down, place five crisp clean dollar bills on the table. when the server comes and asks what you want, say “no food thanks, brought my own” and take a big bite of a dollar

wikipedia excerpt about Tiny Tim in Dickens' A Christmas Carol: Dickens tried other names such as "Tiny Mick" after "Little Fred" but eventually decided upon "Tiny Tim". After dropping the name "Little Fred", Dickens later used it for Scrooge's nephew "Fred".

god he made the right choice, imagine trying to have sympathy for a sick child named "Little Fred"...

HappyWisconsin16: thoughts? whisperfoot: 4.5/10. awkward garage placement. why would the shutters be a different color than the trim. and i hope to your lord that skylight is on the southern side of the house. plus the strats are totally off GraniteLars: You don't know what you're talking about. The house looks totally fine and structurally sound. And I don't know what you're referring to as "strats." Foot: ive been working in homes for 23 years. the strats are misaligned. some regions call them blushers or nuts. Lars: You have got to be trolling. No one uses any of those terms anywhere. I've been a contractor for 16 years. I'm skeptical about what you mean by "working in homes." For all I know you're a butler. Foot: ive been in hundreds of homes. maybe ive been in your home. next time i come by i won't say anything about your wenched strats Lars: Mods, are you seeing this? It feels vaguely threatening, as it references being inside my home? wondergod: no net in bball hope.

a fake AI render of a "tiny house" loft that is actually two stories and has weird impossible geometry, four to six cups of coffee on saucers sitting on various surfaces, and OH YEAH a big fat dog lying on the floor

INCREDIBLE BREAKTHROUGH IN AI TECHNOLOGY
the fake "tiny houses" have fat dog now

moisturize
moisture rise
moist your eyes

Front cover of a kids booster seat box with two kids in the seat.

closeup of a young black kid with dreads that the graphic designer just chopped off in an off-kilter oval instead of taking the time to properly mask around the hair

lol this kids hair. graphic designer saw those dreads and said “nope!” did a quick swoosh with the lasso tool and called it a day

the INTOLERANT left doesn’t want this beautiful Charlie Kirnk memorial statue on the Ave Marina University campus in Florida. SHARE TO SHAME THEM #shame

chatbeefytee

screenshot from genius.com with the lyrics for wood by taylor swift: I ain't got to knock on wood [Post-Chorus] His love it set me free That dick is giving me CTE QB sack into my back wall Never gonna fumble those big ol balls

yeah wow she really went off on this one

they should call it chat beep beep beep, because it’s computer

craigslist free section ad for a "Wooden Tower 19' Free". it's a very shoddy homemade wood tower in someone's backyard.

this is why you gotta stay on top of the free section on craigslist. I had a 19 foot tower in my amazon cart, but now i'm gettin one for free 🤘

YouTube video by jeb haus (dr_jeb) the voice

a little song about ai youtube.com/shorts/ksocb...

YouTube video by jeb haus (dr_jeb) the voice

a little song about ai youtube.com/shorts/ksocb...

Canceling Disney+ because they canceled Kimmel is well and good, but if you really want to make them pay attention, there is no better way than fucking Goofy's wife

La Vérité sortant du puits armée de son martinet pour châtier l'humanité (Truth coming from the well armed with her whip to chastise humanity) is an 1896 painting by the French artist Jean-Léon Gérôme

Truth Coming Out of Her Well to Tell You She Consents to This Image

well it happened to me too. my boss overheard me saying "i'm so horned up, my shit gonna burst like charlie kirk's neck". fired on the spot. so now i gotta try to find another dick sucking factory that's hiring fml

just learned that today the online communities of Adult Baby Diaper Lovers will be lowering their diapers to half mast in honor of charlie kirk. what a beautiful show of support

Celery Victor

a post from iwaspoisoned.com: "Walmart Supercenter, East Jackson Boulevard, Erwin, NC, USA. About ready to throw up, AGAIN! Stomach ache. Had eight marketside chocolate fudge brownies. now throwing up in toilet. | Symptoms: Nausea, Diarrhea, Vomiting"

i ate eight brownies, and now i'm sick?? this is someone else's fault

air bud reboot where air bud is a grizzled old basketball coach with an all-dog team a few games away from the championship, but the evil new CEO of the NBA finally codifies a rule that dogs can't play basketball and he has to learn how to coach his new all-human team

been feeling good on a new antidepressant and then went and read about it. there were 7 medical trials and only 2 of them showed that it did any better than the placebo. living with that knowledge won't change how i feel right?

but hey, it does give me diarrhea, new knowledge can't take that away

they’re of pee, thereof pissed.

GRASSY: We already have some fabulous answers. WEB PAGE: Gadzooks Answers. I AM GRASSY: what animal is the most awesome and cool in the whole planet earth? LIVING FOR ROCK: armordillo. has armor and can get into a ball. BELLA THE BALL: chupacabra animal. GLEN THE GRANDILOQUENT: Can't believe no one has said pistol shrimp. They shoot a sonic gun at their dinner, hello? BUMPY: whales can be in love. can even humans truly say to do that?

Fabulous Answers to a Bunny’s Query

grassyvalley.thecomi...

if you know how to whistle, you can just make up your own, all day long. pro tip

snoop dogg says he's 'scared to go to the movies now' because 'the minons keep showing up in them'

"It's not just despicable me... i sit down to watch the mario movie, or a nice movie about ducks, and there they are in the first 30 seconds, gibbering and bouncing all over each other...

incredible