walruslifestyle

let's make one thing clear. this glass of water why is there so much dirt in it

the dust did nothing wrong

"i couldn't agree more" he said, agreeing more

Shrinking shrimp-shaped domains and multistability in the dissipative asymmetric kicked rotor map An interesting feature in dissipative nonlinear systems is the emergence of characteristic domains in parameter space that exhibit periodic temporal evolution,

mmm, shrimp pubs.aip.org/aip/cha/arti...

spaceships should wear a jaunty little propeller hat that spins when they take off or when one of the astronauts does a space walk

we need a very large duck in here now

me: why are you threatening me

my throw pillow: family is forever

i never played that game "where in the world is carmen sandiego?" because the answer's right there. san diego.

me: i feel like i'm always working but i can never get ahead

my cannibal friend: i know exactly what you mean

thanks

"what do i miss most about being young? having hair!" i chuckle, running my hand over the top of my head as i stare wistfully into the empty "hairhouse", my formerly well-stocked warehouse of hair, taking up most of my property

mmm shrimp

it is true

dear goodness

me: when i was five years old i wanted to grow up to be a sponge. life with its many miseries has disabused me of this innocent dream, but i still reflect on it from time to time.

waiter: so you don't want a refill?

Back in the 90s everyone in the house shared one telephone that was attached to the wall. You could rent VHS tapes from a shop and if you didn't return them in time the worms would get you. You could smoke in restaurants and if you didn't smoke the worms would get you.

That’s why I only post top tier indispensable content that improves the life of everyone who reads it

the headless horseman just shoveling mashed potatoes into his shirt collar at thanksgiving dinner

pumpkin pie is an open-faced sandwich do not @ me

brb writing another banger about hammers

an insect just flew into the window, bonked off, then sat back down in my rolly chair and resumed editing a spreadsheet

the squirrel is running for its dinner. i am running for my life

i think one of the squirrels was me bc of this event
bsky.app/profile/walr...

this squirrel has been barking at me continuously ever since i borrowed two acorns from its nest. seems like an overreaction, frankly

they're called tabby cats because they open tons of browser tabs when they're on the internet

distractingly fluffy

when i was at the pet store i saw a guinea pig that was so fluffy i dropped my cinnabon in a turtle habitat

did they find the human bones in the vulture nests

me: i always wear a viking helmet when i vike around

funeral director: for the last time please leave

did u know that childfree

hi, my name is peter peterson, son of peter peterson, grandson of peter peterson. and this is my son, peter peterson