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Drew

@dmc1138.bsky.social

I don’t have time for this. Gen Xer in Florida. Same username across the multiverse. My journey thus far: Pittsburgh to Orlando to Honolulu to Chicago to Delray Beach. 99% of these are recycled tweets.

4,152 Followers  |  1,077 Following  |  739 Posts  |  Joined: 24.07.2023  |  1.561

Latest posts by dmc1138.bsky.social on Bluesky


I bet in a parallel universe things are awesome.

12.02.2026 13:00 — 👍 20    🔁 8    💬 0    📌 1

*me, watching Lindsey Vonn crash at the Olympics*

“I could’ve done that.”

08.02.2026 19:37 — 👍 19    🔁 3    💬 2    📌 0

Sarcasm is my love language.

07.02.2026 18:24 — 👍 3    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0

Hot take on the Muppet Show reboot:

The Muppets all lip sync better than Sabrina Carpenter.

05.02.2026 22:34 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Did Phil Collins see his shadow?

02.02.2026 14:58 — 👍 4    🔁 3    💬 0    📌 0

People in red polo shirts and khakis are my Target audience.

29.01.2026 17:21 — 👍 24    🔁 8    💬 0    📌 0

I say this with all sincerity, WTF?

30.01.2026 22:24 — 👍 6    🔁 3    💬 0    📌 0

People in red polo shirts and khakis are my Target audience.

29.01.2026 17:21 — 👍 24    🔁 8    💬 0    📌 0

*Jack Nicholson voice*

This country needs an enema.

29.01.2026 15:21 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Can’t wait for “Melania 2: Electric Boogaloo”!

27.01.2026 04:16 — 👍 5    🔁 3    💬 1    📌 0

Can’t wait for “Melania 2: Electric Boogaloo”!

27.01.2026 04:16 — 👍 5    🔁 3    💬 1    📌 0

Ask your doctor if January is right for you.

27.01.2026 00:43 — 👍 77    🔁 24    💬 2    📌 1

Read the room?

Is there an audiobook version available?

26.01.2026 15:23 — 👍 24    🔁 11    💬 0    📌 0

(boss pulling me aside) I need you to stop saying Lucky whenever anyone calls out sick

26.01.2026 16:40 — 👍 182    🔁 51    💬 2    📌 0

my work here is dung

26.01.2026 21:08 — 👍 46    🔁 15    💬 4    📌 0

I didn't realize this antidepressant has a side effect of a positive outlook. Gross!

26.01.2026 19:50 — 👍 104    🔁 33    💬 7    📌 1

I wonder if my high school fake ID is eligible for retirement yet.

26.01.2026 17:58 — 👍 13    🔁 5    💬 1    📌 0

They can't all barely make sense, some have no sense at all

03.12.2025 16:25 — 👍 33    🔁 15    💬 0    📌 0

you can do a colonoscopy at home with a plumbing snake

26.01.2026 17:50 — 👍 137    🔁 49    💬 30    📌 2

Chocolate, sex, and laughter are all important elements to maintaining a healthy brain.

26.01.2026 13:18 — 👍 118    🔁 61    💬 5    📌 1

Monday: *exists*

Me: Every week with this fucking guy.

26.01.2026 13:30 — 👍 136    🔁 53    💬 3    📌 0

Poets and nurses are domestic terrorists?

Better watch out for pastors and florists.

26.01.2026 13:35 — 👍 82    🔁 40    💬 3    📌 0

the monster under my bed polished my toenails while I was asleep

26.01.2026 13:37 — 👍 88    🔁 31    💬 3    📌 0

My winter blubber layer is coming in nicely.

26.01.2026 13:58 — 👍 55    🔁 18    💬 1    📌 0

It's a good day to help some hamburger.

26.01.2026 13:33 — 👍 57    🔁 18    💬 4    📌 0

Never regret anything that once made you smile

26.01.2026 08:01 — 👍 47    🔁 16    💬 2    📌 0

*flicking a lit cigarette* im not like other Muppet babies

26.01.2026 15:20 — 👍 319    🔁 105    💬 0    📌 0

Read the room?

Is there an audiobook version available?

26.01.2026 15:23 — 👍 24    🔁 11    💬 0    📌 0

People on boats love waving at other people on boats.

25.01.2026 19:40 — 👍 21    🔁 5    💬 0    📌 0

There seems to be a shortage of handbaskets.

08.01.2026 14:18 — 👍 37    🔁 11    💬 0    📌 0

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