orange ghoulius 🎃

Ghana poster featuring michael Jackson and bugs bunny.

a diagram showing how jim henson and frank oz operated the swedish chef

guys only want one thing and its disgusting

your nightmare ex might make a great british nanny

sometimes i feel like a wise woman from the bible, sometimes i feel like a sentient furby

i don't want to look cute and girly, i want to look like willem dafoe in the lighthouse

if it feels like someone is negging you all the time, but are kind of undecided about the term, yet so many things you say to them are one-upped or like, "i already knew that," is it still negging?

my ongoing crush on GDT is hotly, hotly sexual

it'd be cool if i didn't look like the lesbian version of my father

feel like ranking children/babies by how much i hate each age range but gonna at least say i hate creepy walking baby-toddlers

fuck, man. david lynch

i love a capricorn, really

it's time to kill the music
it's time to cut the lights
it's time to fight the Muppets in the parking lot tonight

should probably buy one of these mfs

out here walking in the 1978 edition of my book of bible stories

A hastily, sloppy made edit of the Onion article “I Must Take Issue with the Wikipedia Article for Weird Al Yankovic” made by me to say “I Must Take Issue with the Spotify Playlists for ‘90s Lesbian Music”

a man wearing a shirt that says ' schitt 's creek ' on it is walking in a diner ALT: a man wearing a shirt that says ' schitt 's creek ' on it is walking in a diner

how i magically appear from around the corner when there's a delivery and i'm pretending like i'm not watching

stretching isn't enough, i need to be butterflied like a chicken

i have a house FULL of kids rn--just like i Never fuckin wanted 😹💀

femmes & thems should be allowed, legally, to poison one mªn per year

perfectly indignant to think i sense a delicate fragrance of chocolate and peppermint while lying in bed but have had nothing of the sort 🥲🥲

finding a 70s commercial he stars in for mennen skin bracer aftershave almost killed me dead. DEAD!

buying a weighted tootsie pop plush that i hoped to get for xmas, did not, and is now on sale 🙂‍↕️

i dream of siggi's coconut skyr 🤌🏻✨️

five golden rings 🎶

my son got me hair rollers and i cannot wait to use them with a scarf tied over + sunglasses and a cigarette

when i finish building the final ship of the lego star wars advent calendar

there's a guy here with an anthony bourdain 🖕🏻 shirt and a ratatouille scalp tattoo and i wanna tell him hoe hard both of these things rule, but i don't talk to strange men

also going to make peanut brittle over xmas break, as my son requested

making candy: bittersweet dark chocolates with macadamias, pistachios, and roasted walnuts