Alan Smith

“For all that’s holy eat more bloomin’ bread! Look at me, I ain’t fat, bread don’t make you fat that’s bollocks that. Thank goodness bread’s here to make me tell you how great it is and you’re all waking up to the obviousness of that fact.

Good luck to you all.”

“Hope his pants get caught and a BLOODBATH ENSUES!”

As somebody who did A Level English Language, I can tell you - very very very few of them

Think that’s her best book, though you’ve still got some real treats awaiting you, her short stories especially - don’t think there were many better at the short story tbh.

Of her other novels I loved The Sundial, it’s wonderfully wicked, not as often talked about either.

“Haven’t seen in it in a long time” blimey, me neither, what would possess you to watch again? Only seen it once, at uni in a module on Weimar/post-Weimar pre-war German film. I could see why it would’ve worked on people back then and thought while watching it that I don’t wish to ever see it again

Wild is the Wind - Bowie

All books should have exactly 280 pages and a twist should be on every even page - even if it’s blank (between chapters)

I’m reading The Castle at the moment and there’s a vein of dark tragicomedy throughout the whole thing. I mean, what else were K.’s ‘assistants’ written if not for laughs?

Btw, because this is Bluesky and Bluesky gonna Bluesky, I don’t actually think we’re living in a simulation dreamed up by anything, let alone Jon Sopel

Always suspected we lived in a simulation but never suspected it was a simulation dreamed up by Jon Sopel

I love that the page has got a note suggested it ‘may not meet Wikipedia’s notability guidelines for biographies’ - I mean, if this isn’t notable then I don’t know what is…

“Oh won’t somebody PLEASE think of the consenting young adult children!!!!”

Funny how they would never seem to have any issue with a ‘child’ being able to join the army at 16 though - wonder why?

In a previous time he’d have been finished years ago after his financial ‘indiscretions’, even before the racism mask he had slipped when the flimsy elastic holding it in place snapped…

Here I am, using euphemisms as well - when I say ‘indiscretions’ I mean ‘flat out corruption and fraud’ of course

Why can’t we have more of the good kind of weird in the world? It seems to be all ‘ewww’ or 😬😬😬 kind of weird at the moment…

“All of this is coming your way” is one hell of a line to finish an album with btw

Hard to pick from that sublime final three, but not going to use that as a cop-out so will plump for Find the River. But I don’t think there’s a duff, or even near-duff, track on the album. It’s near flawless for me.

Haha, I feel I should explain it but might ruin the apparent randomness

Is Lisa falsely accusing you of hitting News Quiz after getting ‘wasted’ on scotchka?

Bullet in the Head is a bit different in many ways but still very good - you’ll probably already be aware but I’ll warn you anyway, it ain’t exactly ‘laugh a minute’. Tony Leung Chiu-wai and Jackie Cheung are tremendous (when were they not though?)

I always considered The Killer to be the better film, pretty much for that reason that, like you say, it’s a sweet spot between the richer characterisation of ABT and the insanity of Hard Boiled, and probably Woo’s best. I love all 3 though and am perhaps lucky to still have all 3 on DVD

Are the murders solved by mildly annoying eccentric people eating cake and have cups of tea?

Final Fantasy Type-0 HD, another game of mine I’ve never played 😂

And, like somebody has already mentioned, without ‘populism on the left’ the Labour Party wouldn’t exist

Yet they have no issue with populism on the right, judging from those rancid new Leave to Remain proposals that have just been announced

I’d love that guy try to and get explain that to DePalma, and to be a fly on the wall for Brian’s reaction…

Yeah, why choose revolting pickled onion when you have the option of the sheer majesty that is roast beef?

Hard no to the pilsner ones, but absolutely bloody yes to the currywurst ones

Mole-Man definitely needs to be made into a film

For a brief stupid moment I thought she was asking a sensible question about the uptick in violence against transgender people, then noticed the very audible dog-whistle of no-evidence bollocks

It’s good of Oklahoma lawmakers to be thinking of students who may be caught short - installing an additional toilet on campus