Berry

RIP to momma usernamefournumbers if they were born and remained full adult size

Once I had a love and it was a gas

Soon turned out had...

My mum and dad went to that as one of their first dates 🥰

Shocking amount of AI slop too.

Trying my hardest not to engage with a LinkedIn troll with no profile photo and who isn't even a contact. He (of course) commented on a two-week old post of mine trying to point out I was wrong (I wasn't) with information I know but wasn't the topic of my post. Raging, fam.

So many favourites there that if I weren't doing anything today I'd be doing all of those.

In possibly my singlest shop to date, I just bought gourmet cat food, bubble bath and chocolate florentines

🎵 I've got those bulk-cooked something so tediously terrible I can't possibly face eating it for even one more meal blues... 🎶

Broadband in flats: The urban digital divide Residents in urban flats often face poor broadband services. Some in the industry have argued that broadband companies should be given easier access to flats.

The answer, like so many wrongs in the world, is landlords and corporations.

Broadband in flats: The urban digital divide share.google/uCsoknRIany6...

At my last place, EE announced fibre broadband in my area and their map showed a cabinet I could see from my window. But they wouldn't connect it to my cul-de-sac because it was flats. I ended up writing to my MP about "Internet poverty" and she brought it up in parliament 🤷🏼‍♀️

I set fire to a wooden spoon while cooking lunch, in case you wanted to know how my day's going

My cat used to be wary of getting towelled down when she came in sopping wet from the rain. Now I hold out the towel like a matador and she charges head-first into it. Before disappearing back out of the cat flap to resume the process.

SCOOBY-DOO

TAUGHT US THAT IN

THE END THE

MONSTERS WERE

ALWAYS PEOPLE.

Woke to this at 5.45

I should probably add that I also thought "Things that the everyday folk leave behind" meant "Things that people leave behind, every day."

We infer that poetry and song are constructed differently to prose at an influential age, I guess.

Tell me that, based on the theme tune, I'm not the only one who thought that the Wombles of Wimbledon were boasting that they were common

1. Build time machine
2. Go back a week
3. Profit!

Put her forward to midnight

Remind me, how do I put my cat back an hour tonight?

What idiot called it ‘Storm Benjamin’ and not ‘It’s Raining Ben’?

Good call. Girder flavour burbs

Why are bicarb-based meds no longer sold for indigestion? Andrews Liver Salts are off the shelves and even Alka-Seltzer is only marketed as soluble aspirin for pain relief. What are we supposed to do when all we need is a really good burp to sort us out?

I wish I didn't have the superpower of predicting which character will die before the end of a TV drama series by the end of the first episode

*slanket, stupid overenthusiastic autocorrect

Sitrep

Under the blanket, lads. Wake me up in April.

Image of the mechanical ladder outside the Louvre Text below says WENN'S MAL WIEDER SCHNELL GEHEN MUSS (When you need to move fast) Underneath is more German text which translates as "The Böcker Agilo transports your treasures weighing up to 400kg at 42m/min - quiet as a whisper."

The German company that makes the mechanical ladder used in the Louvre heist has used the image to advertise, with the text 'When you need to move fast'

10/10 response, no notes

Picture of two game old lasses stepping out with their dawg and a defiant poem about not going quietly. EVAH Help! The Aged!! The "Help the Aged' time is passed, We're gonna help ourselves. And out we'll go, all fabulous We won't be left on shelves. We'll sashay out all fierce in fur, Although, of course it's faux). We will not fade away, my dears Two fizzes, please, to go... We'll be the 'new crones, if you wish, Replete with wicked wit. Our magic is all powerful, We've no time for your shit. Ignore us at your peril, We've dealt with sterner stuff Menstruation, menopause... And now we've had enough. Our third age hours are precious And we're going to live them well. And if you dare to stymie us, We're gonna give you Hell.. AMELIA CLARK, 2023

Help! THE AGED!
An illustrated poem about the Glorious Badassery of women of a certain age. We've been through a lot and earned the right to live our Third Age years in glorious disgrace with plenty of shenanigans

Old-GIRL power ode prints
🔗 ko-fi.com/s/7ff80e45bf

#menopause #ukgiftam #bsnm

"Let your friend swipe Tinder" but it's my Ocado app so I have some food that doesn't make me want to stab myself with a spork out of sheer tedium

Don't Believe Everything Billionaires Tell You - Ceramic Mug | SPELLING MISTAKES COST LIVES 10oz / 284mlImage printed on both sides of the mug with a small 'Spelling Mistakes Cost Lives' logo in the middle between them.

If you'd like one of my actual real mugs, you can order direct from my website. I really appreciate any and all support
www.spellingmistakescostlives.com/product-page...