Flups

Middledaught told me the definition of ‘blumpkin’ earlier. I strongly advise you to not look that up either. My eye is still twitching.

You C*nt Hurry Love.

I have just realised Phil Collins’ songs are absolute filth!

In Too Deep - filth

Turn It On Again - filth

I Missed Again - filth

🎶No, I won’t hurt you Mama, but it’s getting so hard, ohhhh🎶 - absolute filth!

On their ring doughnut.

Hang on…is ‘Groove-y Kind Of Love’ about up the bottom?

Just what did he ‘fill Colin’s’ with?

BUSINESS IDEA.

Burlesque café serving afternoon cakes, sandwiches and hot beverages called ‘Cream Tease’.

*mumbles something about sleazyJet*

I’ve never understood why he wrote a song for the film called ‘Two Warts’.

People are just too peopley.

A bottle of ‘urine buster’ cat piss remover.

How I’d respond if Phil Collins asked me to name a film he’s been in.

He misunderstood what recycling meant.

When someone thinks a couple of compliments will make you overlook their earlier insult.

It’s been a bit of a rubbish year so far, one reason being my lovely Mini being written off due to a muppet reversing into it. Yesterday, Eldestdaught called me at work to tell me she’d bought me a car. I really do have the most wonderfulist (real word) children.

Why ‘automotive boot shield fitter’ and not ‘car rear add visor’?

“You’re in a small lift and you suddenly smell that someone’s dropped their guts…”

Here’say album featuring the members on the cover all looking as if they hate everyone.

*Album cover photo shoot*

“Right, I want you to look at the camera as if you want to kill me by pulling out my heart via my arsehole”

Does it end with you being thrown out of the library?

Fact: Heather Small’s middle names are All Creatures Great And #totp

Pwahahaha x

I have never watched ‘Titanic’ as I do not see the point when I already know how it ends #totp

Depends whether they’re having to do it themselves or not.

Is Sharleen singing ‘anus, anus, anus, anus’? #totp

(Middledaught’s fingers also making an appearance)

Why ‘tatties’ and not ‘Scotatoes’?

Oh my goodness, this is AMAZING! Thank you, my lovely Pokey x

I couldn’t possibly comment.

What I shall be calling my bottom from now on.

Apparently so 😩