Kevin Arbusto

Her fragrance was ethereal, like Bounce dryer sheets left out in the rain, both mundane and haunting.

Here, eat this. You're not you when you're hungry.

*hands you silica gel packet*

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

I’m writing death threats on Hello Kitty stationery.

Incongruity is the key.

It takes a lot of villages to raise this many idiots.

..and I thought finding your spirit animal was complete bullshit. Until now.

Pretty salty that the rapture didn't take away all of my moral superiors today. Can you imagine how much better this place would be without those assholes?

The only correct rebuttal to this level of discourse is, "I know you are, but what am I?"

“I’m really good at this stuff; your countries are going to hell.”

I'm reading this as he's really good at making a country go to hell.

I don't know what a man goes through right before putting a giant decal on his car, but I have bought many domain names

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Can I laugh my belly off instead of my ass? My butt isn’t that bad.

francis buxton, who coveted the bike

a significant portion of americans think this guy was the hero of pee wee's big adventure

I truly never thought anyone could be DUMBER than Dubya.

I mean, yeah. Thanks!

Autumn is coming...

Wait a minute!!! What if Trump just puts a 150% tariffs on illegal drugs coming into the United States?!!

Sheesh! Do I have to think of everything?

Political violence is never okay! (Immediately turns and blows up a boat of Venezuelans)

Grocery prices rise at the fastest pace since 2022 as Trump tariffs bite On the campaign trail, Trump promised lower grocery prices.

Trump spent his 2024 campaign promising Americans he'd lower grocery prices.

Virtually all major grocery categories are now more expensive than they were a year ago, however, some substantially so.

The last few days have been an undisputed shit show.
I just wanna grab a six-pack of strawberry YooHoo, some popcorn, and sit on my couch watching the cinematic classic; White Chicks.

"The jokes just write themselves!" - a comedian using ChatGPT

dance like everyone is watching and this is their punishment

Trump's health is like his golf game: way more strokes than he'll admit to.

There is no place for democracy in our violence

Thanks for your attention to this matter.

The 3 branches of government are pedophiles, guns, and billionaires.

Hey, Buddy. You can't bring all that hope in here! Get outta here!

Don't let it die.

I think you should all know that I've never actually pardoned your french.

i have plans in motion to become even more weird and unsettling