Will Holdaway

If you shoot accurately towards Pickford’s right, you score. That means YOU Woolfinder.

Looks like woolly Lancashire hotpot to me. Bet you can knit a jumper from the offcuts.

Follow them home, then knock on *their* door wearing your Martin McGuinness.

Self-help guru Povey enters the sacred space There’ve been virtually no comedic episodes at Oldham Athletic for three years under the new ownership, but this one could be a banger

Just when you were absolutely not regretting the absence of a fraudulent empty suit from the Latics dugout, an absolute specimen walks in to fill the void. #oafc

open.substack.com/pub/willhold...

The world’s most biteable bone.

I’ve seen this man up close and personal and can confirm that he is brain dead.

Everyone round Oldham thought FCUM v Chadderton was the proper grudge match of the last round. Not so.

Bollocks II
Bollocks III
Bollocks IV…

Bollocks
The Bollocks

What happened to body warmers?

Skalextric with the lights off.

Which Spoons are you in?

You do know that Moers, Germany is famous for wool right?

Got the nephew staying at the moment. He wants the heating on because he’s got a cold. I have supplied extra blankets.

BANGER

Knock on and tell them it’s upside down.

I have one waterproof and a wax winter job. My missus says I have too many coats. She has some coats in the downstairs loo, some in the cupboard under the stairs, more in the wardrobe and - this is the kicker - some in STORAGE. Your lass is a keeper letting you have seven.

a close up of a man 's face with the word kepler in the bottom right corner ALT: a close up of a man 's face with the word kepler in the bottom right corner

I didn’t even know there would be one. Happy days.

Can’t be height-shaming people these days. They’ll lock you up.

Imma stick you in the WhatsApp group / editorial board.

We need Tague redux.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Findus Crispy Pancakes solve all problems.

I see you’re following their fixtures just as much as anyone else from Port Sunlight or Preston. #wool

This is very funny.

The club undermined even that initiative. I'd get people to proof the in-house copy...and then the club would change it at and AFTER the last minute, when no proofreading was possible. Me and three brilliantly eagle-eyed volunteers are no defence against crap coming through the back door like that.

That's one of the reasons they got me in. That crap had to go. We needed a solid fact and language police operation. I got three volunteers in to proofread the thing, which was easily the best thing I did.

I'm not massively into any pyjama cricket but it strikes me that The Hundred organisers have absolutely nailed it when it comes to engaging the intended audience.
Hellfire I'll even watch a game if it's on, pyjamas or not. Can't say that about T20 Blast (way too many Nigels) or other variants.

Programmes! Get yer programmes! ...or don't.

Give this a read. It's 3,000 words but it's off my chest. #oafc

willholdaway.substack.com/p/programmes...

‘Baboon massacre’: German zoo feeds culled primates to the lions While other zoos defended the ‘unavoidable’ killings, protesters have rallied against the move in Nuremberg, which was intended to alleviate enclosure overcrowding

Same old same old. It has to start somewhere etc. etc.

‘Baboon massacre’: German zoo feeds culled primates to the lions

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/zoo-...

Indeed. The only fair result. They absolutely deserved it. But I’d have been cockahoop if we’d got a tie or the win.