Jenny Trout

I want God to look me in the face and deny that it was an excellent and creative idea.

Also, it's important for me that you know that I said "Napoleon" in an exaggerated French accent in my head.

I'll just see what happens.

Right like, I promise that in this political climate, I am not going to promote the sexual activity of going to a sex island with a billionaire. This is basically a fantasy novel without elves.

Her Billionaire Boyfriend by Abigail Barnette. #2 in the Her Billionaire series.

Not a monster fucking book, but good to know in promoting my monster fucker books.

I'll just say "DEEPLY CONSENSUAL".

Balls, because it is DEEPLY consensual.

Authors, what's the content policy enforcement like over here? Because over on Threads, talking about the 19-on-1 Dungeons and Dragons themed gangbang in one of my books "Promotes or encourages sexual activities" or some similarly worded bullshit. Would that fly here?

Sometimes you read a book and you can just tell that the author had a pony growing up.

I will not be explaining further at this time.

So I've been working for these chocolatiers for like, about a year now, and I gotta say, I might like it more than I like writing.

That's awesome!

I kinda wandered off.

😶‍🌫️

I haven't been over here in over a minute. I'm trying to follow everybody who followed me when I was gone but there are more than three of you and I'm becoming increasingly anxious that I might follow everybody except for one, making someone feel left out.

On Patreon! patreon.com/jennytrout

One time, we actually read a book I liked. It's called Modelland. It's a masterpiece.

If you cross me I will put a spell on you that makes Ryan Murphy listen to your true crime podcast and steal Netflix limited series after limited series from you.

I think the part of Heretic that was the most scary for me was having to listen to a man talk about his opinions on God while Radiohead played in the background.

For no reason whatsoever, I am thinking about that scene in Chernobyl when the nuclear physicist reminds the government official that he used to be a shoe salesman.

I have a fucking INCREDIBLE handshake and then we had a fucking pandemic and now what is it good for?

One of the ways I save time in the mornings is I wait and do my makeup in the parking garage so my moisturizer has time to sink in on the drive. This way, I am only fifteen minutes late to work every day, as opposed to twenty-five minutes late.

What are you going to miss the most when we're starving to death? I think I'm going to miss food the most.

I don't want to watch but I feel like I need to in self defense.

Conservatives don't defend anything as hard as they defend billionaires.

Screenshot of a tweet: “The creator of Nutella, Francesco Rivella, has died on Valentine's Day”

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey:

People vehemently believe that there are safety nets in place if you become disabled. That no matter what, you have all of your needs met. If you believe this, you’re in for a rude awakening if you ever become disabled.

You are going to die.

When I tell you who I'm dating. Squeaky Fromme. She is... difficult.

And both are the reason I barely graduated. 🤣

'90s Jenny spent WAAAAAAY too much time writing fanfic about Lucien LaCroix.

sic semper motherfucking tyrannis