Jenny Trout

Get more from Jenny Gallifrey Joel Trout on Patreon creating Books, blogs, videos, and other general nonsense.

"Jenny, didn't you write those hilarious Fifty Shades of Grey recaps like a decade ago?"

As a matter of fact, I did! And I'm still in the hating game. Join the Jealous Patrons Book Club, and read my snarky recaps. We're currently reading Blood of Hercules.

patreon.com/jennytrout

Before AI, I used to love videos of bears getting in people's hot tubs. Now, I can't trust them. I will never forgive the world for that.

It could fix me. I know it could.

All I need is a wooden base keyboard with Gateron Oil King switches and ceramic key caps.

I miss Write or Die. How am I supposed to get anything done without my fear of my procrastination drowning a cartoon kitten in acid?

Not to trade in stereotypes, but I am unsurprised to hear Kate Bush play during the timeout at this women's beer league hockey game.

YES!

I can't believe I've seen people wearing duck masks and black capes twice this week.

Today I'm gonna wear a long-sleeved t-shirt under a regular t-shirt and put a baseball hat on without putting in a ponytail first. Shit, I might even center part. Then, I'm gonna listen to Alanis Morrissette and R.E.M. and think about whether Hell is really or the adults are trying to scare me.

DROSERA HOUSE (Crimson Peak x Frankenstein x The Dionaea House)

Driven by the voices of corpses she finds on the grounds of her new home, a young bride pieces together the grisly circumstances of their deaths—literally.

-Gothic horror
-Gore
-Supernatural

#ghostpit #w #h #a

Or another "assassination".

Do I believe JD Vance and Erika Kirk will be married before he announces his campaign for 2028? Yes.

Do I believe JD Vance will divorce Usha? No. I do not think he will divorce her.

Me at the Edward Sharpe & Magnetic Zeroes TD concert.

IDK, I think they'd be kind of envious, like, wow, look at how my descendant doesn't have to work so hard.

I hate white feminist Halloween. What do you mean you're going as Ruth Bader Ginsburg's refusal to retire during the 178 days Democrats had a filibuster-proof majority during Obama's first term?

Everybody in this house has their own bed. I wouldn't even have to go back that far to impress my particular relatives with that. We're pretty poor.

I think a lot about what my ancestors would think about me. The medieval European peasants would fall into a coma if they saw how many spices I use. I justify overeating with, "well, my caveman ancestors would be very proud and impressed."

We learned nothing from WALL-E.

Well now I have to.

(throwing up blood) uh oh i did not eat that much blood

It's Hilaria Baldwin.

They put me and a couple of the other managers onto a social media team and gave us posting access to all the accounts, so I'm really excited to see how fast this new career opportunity results in me accidentally getting fired.

An image of Papa Smurf, a small blue man with a white beard. He’s wearing red trousers that lead into shoes and a red cap that slouches forward.

Papa Smurf wears a Phrygian cap, most often associated with the French Revolution, indicating Smurf Village had a monarchy it has since overthrown. This makes Papa Smurf, de facto head of state post-revolution, akin to Robespierre. In this essay I will —

I honestly thought I needed to move to fresh air when I was reading some of the takes out there. And people defending her, as if her comfy sweater movies somehow balanced out the scales for the wild shit she said.

So, apparently you can die from eating too many gummy bears. Because I can't have just one fucking thing.

I just looked it up and omg the kid dressed like a Native is no longer on there, and it was his star, like he was shooting at it with the bow and arrow, so there are NO stars anymore. They could have left the star!

I've never seen someone NOT get a star, so IDK, it's a rare and amazing occurrence.

What if we reframed it as like, it's rare to not a get a star, so that's good luck? Yeah, I got nothin.

You can make a pizza with those tube biscuits instead of a crust. No one can stop you.