Melissa Case

quitting my job and abandoning my family to devote myself full time to my passion: unsubscribing from political texts and emails

Me, realizing that it’s finally Friday:

I imagine it was extremely disturbing

Happy birthday! You look radiant!!

Need this extension ASAP.

Oooooooohhhhh. I must have this one.

But did you un-moot it?

Who gets the car? I get the car!

For my money, this is the funniest thing SNL did with him (funnier, even, than the Green Eggs and Ham bit, which is an all-timer).

We are almost through the first season and my heart rate is through the roof!

Holy SHIT, The Pitt.

“Their skating is velvety. It’s luxurious. It’s like cashmere. It’s a cashmiracle.”!

Never change, Johnny Weir. Never change.

Watching freestyle skiing on the Olympics and the commentators are, like, “Butter, butter, butter, triple cork 1800, nose butter, butter, nails the butter” to describe every jump.

I don’t drink anymore but it’s the one thing that might make it worthwhile.

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Rein it in? REIN IT IN?? There is no reining this in. It cannot be reformed. It can only—and must—be abolished. You’re the Senate Minority Leader. LEAD, and if you cannot, make way for someone who will.

MAHA: Eating a giant steak cooked in butter alongside beef tallow fries and washing it down with coffee spiked with butter

Not MAHA: Clean air, clean water, health insurance, vaccines, disease monitoring, scientific research, food assistance, food safety, bike lanes

He is The Dogfather (and a straight-up rock solid human).

His sweaty, slutty swarthiness and seeming tether to breaking news events notwithstanding, it was time to show Nick the door. Moving on. GO PHILS.

Yes! It’s changed so much. It used to be incredibly boring but now? NOW! We have badasses skating to Dune and doing feats of strength that are blowing my mind. I know there’s kerfuffle to come but I’m loving this!

I feel this. We have an 90-pound Doberman and an 80-pound Staffy and there’s two weeks’ worth of frozen large-dog poop out there. Nasty.

Do it. You’ll regret it if you do t. We went to the Eagles’ victory parade last year and it was amazing.

Repost with a photo of yours that would make a good album cover

Hey Chuck, you don’t *negotiate* things that are already required by law in the Constitution, something about which ICE cares not one iota. ICE and DHS must be dismantled. Ripped out, root and branch.

“They crushed that like velvet.” Never change, Johnny Weir. Never change.

Watching this now and just heard the sentence “there was an unfortunate break in the twizzles” and I am going to find a way to work this into every Zoom meeting I have this week.

Every now and then I look at a Twitter mirror site just to confirm how wretchedly awful these people are. I found that original post and MY GOD.

From the bestskeeting author of the Bluesky-famous six-week Bad Bunny 101 comes this essential close reading of the halftime show! 🧵

Sweet Jebus Moose THANK YOU.

Mini Boston cream pies (can’t stand the Pats but New England’s got some tasty food) for my friend’s SBLX party.

Water Birds win! Between the Pats losing and Bad Bunny’s incredible showmanship, it’s a satisfying outcome. AND I made these mini Boston cream pies (and lobster rolls), that are to diiiiiiiiie for.